The Truth Comes Out
by musicsnob357
Summary: Takes place mid season 5. What SHOULD happen with Will and Alicia... rated M for a reason!
1. Chapter 1

*****AUTHOR'S NOTE*****

**Hey all…**

I haven't written anything for this website in over a year, so things may be a little rusty. Have some grace, please! I am newly obsessed with this show and so I am also new to the fanbase. I'm still perfecting my take on the characters, so go a little easy on that, too. I hope you like "my" Alicia and Will, but of course I do not own the Good Wife.

**This takes place mid-season 5—what I HOPE will happen between them eventually! If it doesn't I might die a little bit!**

Please, please, please review! I love hearing from the few Good Wife fans on this website. Enjoy!

(Rated M for a reason!)

* * * * * * *

Alicia winced as her car began to rattle and growl at her. She shifted uneasily into third gear and then back again, unsure of what exactly she was doing.

"Mom, that doesn't sound good," Grace voiced warily.

"I agree," Alicia breathed. Looking up, she noticed that the front of her car was smoking—bad. With an exasperated sigh she pulled the car over to the side of the interstate. "I so do not need this," she murmured under her breath, glancing over at Grace with a smile. "You might be a little late to school."

Grace purses her lips, but she only says, "That's okay."

Alicia runs her hand through her hair with annoyance, but reasons with herself that it isn't so bad, and Grace is being her normal, tolerant self. She is thankful to have such good kids.

"I guess I'm going to look under the hood."

Grace smirks. "Do you have any idea what is under the hood of a car?"

Alicia grins wryly at her. "I'm a very good guesser."

"Uh-huh."

Narrowing her eyes with amusement, Alicia says, "Just stay here. I'll be back in a second."

It's beginning to rain as she steps out of her car. _Perfect. _It seems that every day since she'd left Lockhart/Gardner had been cloudy and/or rainy. The heaviness of loss and debt was constantly on her chest. It was liberating, and probably the right thing to do to leave Lockhart/Gardner, but it still felt like shit. Every time she entered her new firm she felt like she was betraying Will again.

Alicia lifts the hood of the car and peers into the mess of pipes, nozzles, and tanks. What a joke—like she could figure out this. The rain falls on the hot pipes and hisses, first just every few seconds, but then more frequently as the precipitation gets heavier.

She tugs on her suit jacket, as if that will help her stay dry and collected. A crack of lightning makes her jump, and Grace rolls down the window and yells, "Mom, get back in the car!"

Frustrated, Alicia sits back down into her car and pulls out her cell phone to call for help. Peter is the first one she tries, but it automatically goes to voicemail. She knew when she married a politician that he would be busy. Somehow that fact doesn't make it much better. Then she decides to call for the car service that Peter paid for long ago, that she hadn't had to use until now. They say they will arrive in about 30 minutes.

After hanging up Alicia looks over at Grace and says, "Looks like it's going to be about a half hour. I'm sorry, honey."

"S'okay. Not the first time I've been late to school, you know."

"Oh really?" Alicia raises an eyebrow. "Zach not getting you there on time?"

Grace laughs. "Something like that."

Alicia jumps when a loud honk sounds from just outside her window. "Shit," she murmurs, and Grace says, "Mom!" Alicia throws her an apologetic glance and rolls down her window.

Her stomach unravels at the sight of him. His eyebrows are drawn together, looking angry (as is usual these days), but the concern still leaks through just a little.

Will.

He looks as if he's about to throw a harsh comment her way, but then his eyes fall on Grace and they soften. "Car troubles?" He yells over the rain.

"Yes," Alicia says back, not really sure what to ask of him here.

"Is anyone coming to help you?"

"Not for another 30 minutes."

Will looks at his steering wheel, and Alicia can see his hands tighten on it. "Let me give you a ride," he finally yells.

Alicia blinks rapidly and then says to Grace, "Be careful getting out."

Grace nods and they both exit the car, bracing themselves against the rain. Will's warm leather seats welcome them, and Grace curls her hands over the air ducts as soon as the door is shut behind her. Alicia does her best to sit straight in her seat, holding her head up despite the rain dripping from her hair.

"Grace going to school?" Will asks.

"Yes—are you sure you have time for this?" Alicia asks, but she isn't sure what she'll say if he says he doesn't. She doesn't have any other plan now.

"Yeah, it's no problem."

Luckily or unluckily, the drive to Grace's school is a short one. Grace is too preoccupied by her lack of warmth to notice the stiffness in the front seats. Alicia looks back at Grace and asks, "Do you have a change of clothes at school."

"Yeah."

"Will your shoes be too wet? Do you need me to bring you a different pair?"

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

Alicia smiles weakly at her. Although she is concerned about Grace, she can't ignore the fact that her entire left side is tingling with its close proximity to Will. She can't ignore the fact that his hands are white from clutching the steering wheel; can't ignore that his eyes have not left the road; cannot ignore the fact that he's barely breathing. Anger and hurt are thick in the air, and she doesn't know what to do about it.

Will pulls into the parking lot of the school, as close as he can get to the door. Grace pulls her backpack after her and politely says, "Thank you, Mr. Gardner." Will gives a curt, "Of course," back to her.

"Zach will probably pick you up," Alicia calls after her. Grace waves back as she hurries into the building and disappears.

Alicia turns to look back at the road as Will pulls out of the parking lot. Her stomach churns and she can feel the tendons in her neck tensing. Every part of her is angry, but every part of her is wanting. She had refused to examine her feelings any more. After she left Lockhart/Gardner, all she did was focus on the look of pure hatred in Will's eyes as he fired her. That fueled her to forget any feeling she might have had for him.

She thought it would be like that for a long time. Or at least for long enough that she could go to Hawaii with Peter and secure herself to him for once and for all. But day after day, the feelings slowly came crawling back. As she saw glimpses of hurt in his eyes—as the anger chipped slowly away. Will's anger was a powerful, dangerous kind of anger, that didn't ebb easily. It just swayed when the hurt was there to take its place.

"Thank you for picking us up," she whispered after a few minutes.

"It was the right thing to do," he says nonchalantly. His rough voice resonates in the center of Alicia's chest. She holds it there, hating how delicious it sounds.

"Still, you didn't have to."

He slowly drops one arm from the steering wheel, too cautiously for it to look natural. "_Most_ people would have." His jaw clenches.

"What's that supposed to mean? That _I _wouldn't have?"

"I don't know what you would do."

"Because I've changed, right? Because now I'm the kind of person who betrays those who have given her everything, right?"

Will just shrugs. "You said it."

"Because you were thinking it!"

"No." His voice is cold. "I don't think about you, Alicia."

Alicia's breath catches, but she hastily recovers, hoping that he doesn't notice. She has grown tired of this fighting. It leaves her drained, shaky, and feeling out of control. She doesn't like to feel out of control.

"Leaving Lockhart/Gardner was the best for everyone involved."

"That's bullshit," he growls. "It made no sense. We were in the black, finally. Out of debt completely, after all that work. Things were finally going smoothly and we were functioning again. We made you partner, dammit. Lockhart/Gardner was a solid business—"

"Who cares about the damn business!" Alicia exclaims. Her words catch in her throat, and she can hardly croak out: "This wasn't about business."

They pull into a parking spot in the parking deck. Apparently he knew that she was going to court today, even though they weren't working on the same case. It's dark, and they can hear the pounding rain just above them. "Oh, sure it wasn't. It was because you couldn't stand being around me, right?" His voice is slowly raising. The pain masked by anger is flooding into his eyes. Alicia bites back her own pain so that she doesn't appear weak in front of him.

"Go to hell, Will! Don't you think I hate myself for this, too? Don't you know that I fall asleep and wake up with you on my mind? I can't stand how you look at me, I can't stand fighting with you. I'm terrified of how I feel about you. I'm terrified that you won't feel the same way. I couldn't stand next to you every day and deny my feelings _every day_. It's too painful." Alicia's voice cracks. "Fuck you. Don't you know that I love you? Don't you know that I've been running from that since the first time you kissed me? I had to do this. I had to."

Will's face is still skewed into an angry scowl, but it's obvious that he's been caught off-guard. Alicia looks away from him and takes a deep breath, attempting to collect herself. She can't keep looking at him and seeing the hatred. It's too painful.

After a few silent moments, Alicia murmurs, "Thanks again for the ride," and steps out of the car. She does her best not to slam the door, and then she draws herself up and begins to walk away, her heels clicking on the concrete.

Each step brings up more emotions. She can feel the tears gathering. _Damn it_. She's not a crier. She hates crying.

She hears Will get out of the car behind her, and hurries a little. The last thing she wants is to be stuck in an elevator with him.

"Alicia, wait." His voice is suddenly close. She is scared to turn around, but she does anyway.

His eyebrows are drawn together in that wonderful way that they do when he looks up at her. The hurt is so obvious in his eyes; she can tell it's threatening to consume him. Just the sight of his pain makes hers so much worse. "I hate you," he says hoarsely.

Alicia's breathing catches and the tears finally do spill over. "I know," she replies hollowly.

Suddenly the space between them disappears as he pushes her into the concrete wall beside them. Their lips collide clumsily and urgently, and his hands are suddenly at her face. He pushes her hair to the side and his warm lips press against hers. She is stunned momentarily, but then her purse drops from her shoulder and she is suddenly clutching him tighter that she ever has.

His breathing is heavy, and after a few moments Alicia realizes that the wetness from her face is not just from her own tears. One of his hands leaves her head and cups her neck, and then explores her shoulders, her side, her hip. She can't remember ever feeling so on fire, so full of emotion.

His lips are soft, urgently sucking on her bottom lip, his tongue caressing hers. Her hands find his hair and she pulls him close to her. The feeling of his face on her face, his chest against her breasts, his erection against her stomach… it's all she's ever needed.

His mouth breaks away from hers and his lips find her neck. As he presses them to her soft skin, his hands are finding her clothes. He pushes her skirt up and tears the panties from her body. Alicia tips her head back and clings onto the wall behind her, panting heavily. His lips are still on her neck, and his fingers find her _there. _Two fingers slip in, stretching, pushing, taking her already to places she hadn't been for a long time.

"Will," she moans, her voice feeble.

His lips travel down her neck to her chest, pulling her shirt to the side and finding her breasts. He moans into her, and the sweet vibration of his voice sends shivers down her spine. She closes her eyes, almost unable to stand with all that he is doing to her.

The teasing doesn't last long. She can feel that he is ready, and she is too. She hears as he unzips his pants, and then he is in her. She gasps, wrapping her arms around his neck and opening her eyes.

His eyes meet hers and they both stop breathing. The anger has melted into passion; raw, fearful, wonderful passion. He is vulnerable again, and so is she. They study each other for a few seconds, and then he is kissing her again, pulling out and thrusting in. A tiny moan escapes her, and he pounds harder. The concrete wall is hard behind her. She's thankful that he has lifted her up, because at this point she knows that she could not stand.

He pounds harder and harder, and she clings to him, pulling on the back of his suit. Both are panting, gasping, pulling each other closer. Her lips find his neck and she nibbles softly, barely aware of what she's doing. She's never felt so full, so complete in her life.

He pulls her to him, still inside of her, and leans her into the wall. She wraps her legs more tightly around his waist, and both groan at how deep he is going. She concentrates on the sound and feeling of his breathing next to her ear, overcome with the greatness of it. He kisses her deeply once more, and then slowly pulls out, pushes in, pulls out, gathering speed until Alicia is shouting his name. It is excruciatingly good. He groans into her, slamming his length into her, and finally he comes inside of her. She can feel his release in his entire body, it relaxes him. The tension leaves him, but he does not set her down. His hands are at her head again, holding her to him.

"Alicia," he murmurs. Her name is so enticing on his lips.

Alicia turns to look at him, pressing her lips onto his jaw.

"I am in love with you," he breathes.


	2. Opening Arguments

**A/N: Ahhhhh thank you all so much for reviewing! I didn't think there were many Good Wife fans out there, but you all reviewed after just one night. Thank you thank you!**

I wasn't going to continue the story, but since you all asked so nicely (and since I love Will & Alicia so much..) here is another chapter. Perhaps more to come. 

Will is leaning up against a car that isn't his. His arms are crossed, and his thin lips are pursed into a small frown. Alicia's hands are still grasping at the concrete wall behind her as she attempts to get her bearings. Will runs a hand through his hair, and Alicia tries not to gawk at him.

Obviously, the mind-blowing sex didn't fix everything for him. His face is still creased with worry and hurt. Her heart hurts for him, and every fiber in her body seems to be stretching out to his. Having him once more wasn't enough; she wanted him every day, for the rest of her days.

Will finally stands and reaches an arm out to her. "Come with me," he says quietly, and his voice triggers something deep inside of her. Something that is pleased.

"Don't you have court?" she asks.

"Yes," he says simply, leading her back to his car. _Apparently we're skipping court today, _Alicia thinks, and although she worries about what Cary will think, the vast majority of her doesn't care at all. The strong hand in hers is far more important than sitting next to Cary right now.

Alicia admires Will's back as they walk. He is tall, thin, and his shoulders are wide. He looks good in a suit. He looks good in just about anything—or nothing—but Alicia loves the lawyer Will. The passionate, angry, suit-wearing lawyer. The man she once stole glances with from across the conference room at Lockhart/Gardner… the man who pushed her up against walls in elevators for the painfully short amount of time on the way down to the first floor. The lawyer Will was who made Alicia's knees weak.

They get into his car and he pulls out of the parking deck. He's silent, and his jaw is clenched. There is a thin layer of sweat on his forehead that thrills Alicia. She is terrified. Terrified of his anger, his hurt, and all of the other feelings that he possesses for her. But it isn't like before—before she hid from those things. Now the ache in her chest tells her that it must be addressed. She must let him voice how he feels, and she must be brave enough to reciprocate.

She can tell by the way he's going that they are headed to his apartment. Her heart is racing. She can barely sit still, but she does, in order to maintain her dignity. She does her best to look like she is fine, but he must know that she's anything but fine.

The drive seems agonizingly long. She doesn't say anything, because he appears deep in thought. And because she's afraid to. It's hard to tell what he's feeling—what if it's rage that's brewing under that stony gaze? What if it's regret? Surely it wouldn't be that, since he's still with her. Why is he bringing her to his apartment?

Alicia swallows as she thinks about what she _hopes _the answer is, but pushes those thoughts to the side just in case that isn't what he's intending. Maybe he's bringing her someplace private so he can kill her. Her lips turn up slightly at that amusing and outrageous thought.

They pull into Will's parking lot and he, still silently, leads him up to his apartment. Everything is distantly familiar. The last time she was here, she was in seventh heaven—feeling like a college student again. Nothing seemed to be wrong at that point in her life. With Will breathing in her ear it was easy to forget about Peter… for a while.

The apartment is clean and masculine. Everything is in order. There are few signs that anyone even lives here.

Will walks over to his living room and leans against the back of the couch. Alicia follows, and asks, "Are you going to sit?"

"I can't," he murmurs. "If you would like to, feel free."

She doesn't. She stands, waiting.

"We're going to talk," he says. "And when we get too angry, or sad, or whatever, _I'm going to_ _take you_. Wherever I feel like I want to. Then we'll talk some more. And if we get mad again, I'll take you again. And so on, until we have this all figured out." His gaze is cold, but full of desire. Alicia feels as if her brainpower is slowly vacating her skull, leaving behind a mush of desperate wanting and affection towards the hurting man in front of her.

"Okay," Alicia says, appearing calm. Despite their intense emotions, both maintain their distant and confident demeanor. They both know it's a fallacy.

"What were all of the factors going into your decision to leave Lockhart/Gardner?"

His voice is even, and Alicia does her best to respond just as evenly. "You know I've always wanted to have my own firm. I didn't like the way the partners treated the associates. I didn't like the scheming. I wanted to have some credit for my own work." She pauses, but then admits it again: "You."

"Why did you accept partner? Was it so you would be in on all that we talked about in our meetings?"

"No," the word comes out almost as a hiss. "I wasn't sure. I was never sure if I wanted to leave. I kept doing my best at Lockhart/Gardner because I was still holding on. I've said this, Will: I like Lockhart/Gardner. I will always be grateful that they—that you—hired me. I was a terrible candidate for a job."

"You only stayed for four years, Alicia. Just four years. Was this the plan all along?"

"No, of course not."

"Then why! Why was it so bad!" Suddenly he is yelling. It always happens like this; one second he's fine and the next he's punching the wall, overcome with anger. "Why did you have to do this to us? You know how long this year has been, how hard it has been to get out of debt. Did you ever think of anyone but yourself?"

"It isn't my fault the partners used us! We felt _unwelcome_—you _forced _us to leave!"

"That's bullshit! It was business and you know it! We did everything we could to make the fourth years happy—to make _you _happy!" Will nearly launches himself from the side of the couch, standing closer to Alicia, bristling with anger. He gestures with his arms as he talks. "You all knew it was too soon for you to be getting partner, anyway! We were just doing everything we could to dig ourselves out of debt!"

Alicia does her best to look just as offended, just as angry. "You ask me how long I've been scheming against you, but I could ask you the same question, Will! How long have you and Diane been planning to promote the fourth years—only to snatch it out from under them? How long have you known you would give me partner, turning the other fourth years against me? Did you promote me because I'm good or because my last name is _Florrick_?"

Will is about to say something, but then he stops. His eyes are blazing, intense, staring into Alicia's. She's caught off guard, but quickly regains her fire: "I can't believe—"

"Stop," Will says softly. When Alicia looks closer she sees that the intensity in his eyes is no longer just anger. The desire has returned. "Stop talking," he growls. With a strong hand he pushes her back until her hips press into something hard. She feels behind her—polished wood, papers, pens… Will's desk? He leans into her and she sits on it. Yes, it's a desk. She quickly looses sight of what she's sitting on and focuses her attention solely on those eyes—the eyes that can suck the words right out of her mouth. The brown of them is so full of depth—thoughts an emotions Alicia can only hope to one day know more of.

He pushes her bangs from her eyes and clutches her hair in the back. "I'm so angry at you," he whispers, and the menace is obvious in his voice. "For so many things."

Alicia quivers under him; her resolve shattering. She prides herself in how difficult it is to break through her wall of confidence, but the combination of his demanding eyes, his ruffled hair, his strong hands—she is no match for all of _that._

When Will's mouth meets hers it is less urgent this time. He presses harder, leaning into her, breathing her in. She moans ever so softly, melting into him. She has never been more compliant than when she is in his arms. So much of her feels like a soft clay; bending and collapsing at his every touch.

He is soft but firm. His tongue brushes her lower lip and she parts her lips, allowing him to explore her further. His hand is still pulling at her hair, and his other hand is clutched firmly at the small of her back. She pulls him closer, wrapping her arms around his wide shoulders.

His lips leave her mouth and move from the corner of her mouth, to her jaw, to her neck. He nibbles there, first softly, and then harder, with his teeth. She moans at this, too, fearing for a moment that he will leave a mark—but with each bite, the worry is further forgotten.

Suddenly his hands have left her hair and back and are at her front, unbuttoning her blouse. He is quick, and it's off in no time, exposing her lacey bra. It's off in seconds, and then he's tugging at her skirt. All of her clothes are off in record time, and he shuffles out of his pants before she can even try to assist him.

Then his hands are on her again, pushing her further onto the desk and laying her down. The papers and pens are shoved to the floor with one smooth motion, and Alicia gasps softly as the cold wood greets the skin on her back. Will is on top of her, looking at her once again. His eyes have softened, and Alicia can see a flicker of the love he expressed just minutes ago.

"Alicia," he whispers, and then presses his lips to her chest. Alicia closes her eyes, consumed by the weight of him and the warmth of his mouth on her. He reaches her breast and takes her right nipple into his mouth, sucking fiercely. A small squeak escapes Alicia's lips and she clamps her hands onto Will's back. He tugs at her harder, sucking, sucking, until it's almost painful, and then he releases her. She exhales raggedly, and he pecks around her nipple. Light kisses, then a bite. Light kisses, a bite. He breathes heavily on her and she is undone at the heat of him each time.

He plants kisses along her ribcage, then down to her navel. Alicia's heart races as he gets lower and lower. She reaches down and threads her fingers through his hair, blissfully happy that she is touching him.

Will kisses the inside of her thigh, and Alicia's eyes are closed once more. Her senses overwhelm her. He kisses her where she wants it most, and she draws in a shuddering breath. "Oh my God," she pants. Will's tongue traces inside of her, flicking against her clit, sending electric jolts up her spine. He teases her ever so slowly with his tongue, glancing up at her every so often, amusement dancing in his eyes. Alicia groans at his every move, gripping the sides of the desk.

Suddenly his mouth is gone from her and he is on top of her again. He buries his face into her neck, and at the same time he positions himself to enter her. Alicia feels the anticipation balled up in her stomach, and she realizes that she's holding her breath. Will breathes into her and then pushes himself easily into her.

It doesn't matter how many times Alicia has felt this feeling of being filled by Will—she doesn't think she could ever grow tired of it. He stretches her just enough to make her want to scream from the agonizing pleasure of it. He quickly picks up speed, slamming into her. The desk simultaneously slams into the wall next to them, and the sound is loud. Alicia vaguely wonders about the neighbors, but the thought is lost in a millisecond.

"Will," she groans loudly. "Oh my God, Will, Oh my God!"

"Let me hear it," he groans into her.

Her voice is quieter as he slams harder and harder. "Take me, Will. I want you to take me, always, always." She digs her nails into his back and he growls into her neck. "I want you," she murmurs.

She can feel the smirk on his lips, and he obliges her, going harder and harder until she is nearly unaware of where she is, what she's doing, who she is.

Then he slows, pulling almost all the way out. Alicia pants under him, whimpering and clutching him tightly. He pushes steadily into her, in, and out. In, and out. He lifts his head so that he can press his face against hers. His nose presses into her cheek, and his lips brush her jaw. She can feel his breath against her face, and she inhales the scent of him. He holds her tightly as he enters her deeply, moaning occasionally.

He presses his lips against hers once more and then she can feel him come inside of her. He remains on top of her for a few seconds, and then lifts himself off of her. He finds his boxers and pulls them back on. "I have a t-shirt you can borrow," he says, wandering to (presumably) his bedroom, to find her one.

Alicia sits up on the desk, breathing heavily. The papers are all over the floor next to her, and the desk underneath her has a thin sheen of sweat to it. Her heart is racing and she feels shaky and uneven. He does these things to her.

Will returns with the t-shirt and she slips it on. At this point they wander to the couch and sit relatively close to each other. "So," he says. "What were you saying?"


	3. The Negotiations Continue

**A/N: Wow, no other fan-base I've written for has ever reviewed this quickly or this much! Thanks so much for your reviews everyone, I enjoy reading them and enjoy sharing the same love for Will and Alicia that you all do…**

I'd like to know all of your preferences: obviously I wrote this to people who like sex, because I like sex. I like Will and Alicia's relationship as a passionate one, but obviously it can't continue like this forever. Are all of you reading this because you want sex, or because you want the love between them to grow? I will change my plot accordingly. Let me know—I'm happy to write either because at this point in the show I have no idea which way it will go!

CHAPTER 3

Will puts his arm around Alicia, and she sighs into him. She can feel him smiling into her ear, and it sends shivers up her spine. She wants to stay strong, but at this point she feels she is beyond maintaining her uncaring façade. Talking is difficult. All she wants to do is tell him she loves him and let him wrap his arms around her forever.

"We were tired of being pushed around," she says. "Cary is young. He's ambitious. His ambition is contagious, and it seemed like a good time."

"When were you planning on leaving?"

Alicia relaxes at the tone of his voice. The anger is subsiding. It's still there, but the edge has left it. She no longer fears that he will punch a wall or throw something across the room at her. "We were planning on leaving only a week after you found out."

"Why then?"

"I couldn't keep it from you. With every interaction it got harder. I thought it would be easy enough, but it wasn't. It was awful."

Will's mouth is on her ear, tracing it with his tongue. Alicia shudders, drawing herself closer to him. "If you don't stop I won't be able to keep talking."

He pauses and whispers, "It hurts to hear you talk about it."

Alicia's hand finds his knee. "It hurts me to say it."

Will's lips find hers again, and he wraps his arms around her. The embrace is much warmer than what they've shared so far. Finally he is accepting her, showing just a little bit that he needs her. His kisses are warm and almost forgiving. Almost.

Alicia moans into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. The world fades around her. The couch seems to swallow them as he lowers her onto it.

"We have to keep talking," he murmurs between kisses.

"I know."

She loves the way his mouth totally covers hers. His size intimidates and thrills her. Everything about him is powerful, strong, but somehow—he needs her too. She can sense it, for the first time.

He drags himself off of her, and she sighs a little too loudly. He doesn't acknowledge it.

"How did you decide which clients to take with you?" he asks, not looking at her. She sits up, preparing to answer.

END OF CHAPTER

**I know I know, so short. But I need everyone's input before I continue. So let me know what you choose—love or sex. ;) **


	4. New Terms of Agreement

**A/N: How about that episode tonight, huh? Love me some Will & Peter fights… Will is so sexy when he gets angry. Although I do miss the kind Will… the anger is wearing a little on me lately. There's been so much of it.**

Anyway, the consensus is… BOTH love & sex. Who do you people are, thinking you can have both? Okay, you can have both. Thanks so much for reviewing, I love reading your comments on the story! There should be a few more chapters to come. Here's the next.

^^^^^^^

Alicia has been mulling over what she would like to say to Will about clients for several minutes, before her mind slows to a halt. Nothing she says will help here, she realizes. "Will," she murmurs softly. "This isn't about clients, and you know it."

He raises a thick eyebrow at her, willing her to continue.

"We don't care about clients, or when I started planning this, or any of the business aspects of it. You know how this works. You know that Cary or I or both of us would have left eventually, taking our clients with us. What you care about is me. And what I care about is you. How I hurt you. How we've been avoiding this—this _thing_—for four years now."

Will draws back from her slightly. She can see him swallow, and his eyes leave hers as his thoughts deepen. Alicia's own throat constricts, the ball of anxiety in her chest rising to her mouth. That was about the ballsiest thing she'd ever said before.

Alicia patiently waits, and finally he turns back to her. She admires him as she always does; his defined jaw, his thin lips, his slender nose, his eyes… the eyes that reveal so much of him. She has always loved how expressive his eyes were. Even if his mouth was screaming profanities, his eyes always whispered _"I want you, I need you_," when she needed to hear it most.

He looks as if he's about to say something, but then he swallows his words and grabs both of her wrists. He smoothly pushes them over her head until she is laying on the couch once more. He is over her again, powerfully containing her. With one hand he holds her wrists, and with the other he hastily unbuttons her shirt. Alicia's mind instantly vacates—once again she is caught in the rush of his touch. She watches the veins in his hands as he works her shirt off, and once it's off, she admires his hair as he is nipping at her chest.

Her bra is off quickly and the cold air greats her breasts once again. She gasps as he grabs her left nipple, biting down fiercely. The desperation of his movements and his breath catches her off-guard. No matter how many times he has her today, he is not sated. The thought thrills Alicia, and she surrenders to his advances.

He swirls his tongue around her nipple and pinches her other nipple between his fingers. Alicia releases a syrupy moan of delight. His name escapes her lips and he purrs into her skin. She is wet faster than before in anticipation of what she knows is to come.

Suddenly Will's fingers leave her breast, and while his mouth is still working, his fingers slip under his shirt. Alicia's breathing quickens as he trails up her thigh, ever so slowly. She moans with frustration, and he laughs. Quickly his fingers are inside of her, stretching, delving into the deepest part of her. A small scream slips from her lips, and he quickens his movements. Alicia is beyond lost, beyond recognition of what's going on in the world around her.

His thumb finds her clit and swirls around it as his fingers slide deeper and deeper into her. Already Alicia is close to coming—how did this all happen so quickly—she can't feel anything other than what he is doing inside of her. Her entire body is on fire, from her sore wrists, to her wet breast, to her core… he is controlling her.

Will's fingers leave her and he steps back to shuffle out of his boxers. He looks up at her and their eyes meet—and suddenly Alicia sees something that she is afraid of: emptiness.

He is running.

He is overcome by his feelings. He's terrified. He's angry. He doesn't know what to do about it, so he's drowning out what he's feeling with sex.

He's on top of her before she can finish her thought, but she has collected herself quickly. "Will," she says softly, pushing him firmly. He steps back, confusion flooding his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

Alicia runs a hand through her hair, suddenly very distraught. Her own fear floods into her chest, afraid that if she makes him stop, he'll want to stop everything. The sex and the talking. She couldn't bare that—but she also can't bare the secrets and the empty sex anymore. She wants all of him.

"We need to talk."

"We are talking," he says sharply.

"No, Will. _Fucking _is not the same as talking."

He looks bewildered, but doesn't refute her. He sits back from her, pulling his boxers back on. She buttons a few buttons and attempts to flatten her ruffled hair.

"We need to really talk," she says, gathering confidence. "About the hard stuff. I want you to know how I feel. I want to hear how you feel. I want to get everything straightened out, and I know that scares the shit out of you, but we can't keep going like this."

He looks straight ahead—not at her. But soon he murmurs, "Okay."

"Do you want me to go first?"

His voice seems hollow. "Yes."

She swallows and grabs his hand in hers. He moves his thumb against her fingers, giving her assurance that he's ready to hear what she has to say. The gesture is encouraging. "The truth is, Will… I am in love with you. I told you already, but I want to say it again: I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a very long time. I've been doing the right thing for so long… and I think I convinced myself for a while there that I did love Peter still, but…" she draws in a breath, "I left Peter two weeks ago. We signed the divorce papers two weeks ago. When I slept with him, I was thinking of you. I was thinking of your hands… all over me. I was thinking of your laugh. Of the way the corner of your eyes crinkle when you really smile. Of how young I feel when I'm with you, and how safe, and how appreciated. Peter made me feel safe, but with you, I feel like I'm _worth _something. I don't feel like I'm just an accessory to your professional appearance—I feel like I'm your partner. Your teammate. Someone you have fun with, and trust, and believe in. You make me feel valuable. I don't want to lose you. I—" Alicia's voice breaks, and tears begin to well in her eyes. "I am _so _sorry that I hurt you, Will. Leaving the firm in that way was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I was so afraid of what I was feeling that I buried it in the only way I knew how. I don't believe I belong at Lockhart/Gardner anymore, but I don't think I should have left in that way. I never wanted to hurt you, and I _never _want to hurt you again." A single tear falls from her eye, but she doesn't wipe it away. Will does. His hand brushes against her cheek, and more tears threaten to emerge at that.

The fear is still in his eyes. But there is also a kind of fire there that she hasn't seen much of before. "Alicia," he murmurs, and the emotion is thick in his voice. "Can I please kiss you?"

His voice is soft, compassionate, seeking out her acceptance. She smiles at him and nods, and he wraps his arms around her and presses his lips to hers. The tears really do spill now, and she can feel the liquid pooling in between their lips. His hands both find her cheeks, and his thumbs wipe away the tears. The kiss is warm, searching, and intimate. She feels raw from sharing so much of herself, but relieved that she for once was honest.

His lips leave hers but he doesn't pull his arms away from her. She settles into his warmth, and he squeezes. "You left Peter?" he asks.

Alicia nods.

"I never thought that would happen," he whispers.

"Me either."

A silence envelops them, and Alicia can tell that it is because Will is collecting himself. He will say what he wants to say, and she will wait. As far as she is concerned, she could wait here, in his arms, forever.

"Alicia," he murmurs, "I love your smile. I love your confidence. I love that you are a kick-ass lawyer. I love your eyes, and your hair, and how soft your skin is. I love that you moan every time I kiss you, like you've been waiting years for it. I love how good of a mother you are, and how good in general you are. You've always been so much better than I am. I could never deserve you, but I want you. I want you in the morning, I want to see you in court every day, I want to fight you, make love to you, kiss you, make breakfast for you, and hold you every night as you fall asleep. I don't know if I can be the man you deserve. But I sure as hell would like to try."

Alicia's breath is shaky as she looks up at him, meeting his eyes. There are tears there, and the passion that dwells beneath the tears makes her shaky with longing and loving. "You're all I've ever wanted," she whispers.

He kisses her on the forehead, then on the nose, then on each cheek. "This talking hurts," he murmurs.

She laughs. "I know. It's killing me."

"You have ruined me, Alicia. I have never needed anyone before."

She smiles a wry smile. "I'm very sorry."

A flicker of amusement dances in his eyes, and relief flood her chest. The first sign of pure joy she's seen in him in months.

"Can I make love to you yet?" he asks.

Alicia's heart flutters at the newly used term _make love _as opposed to fuck or take. The term fills her with a new, different kind of excitement. She pulls him close.

TO BE CONTINUED

**Is that enough love for everyone? If not, there will be more… with some more sex too, of course. Hope you all enjoyed!**


	5. Closing Arguments

**A/N: **Hey all! I'm sitting in an airport waiting for a plane that doesn't take off for another 3 hours… guess I over-planned a little. Lots of time to kill, so I guess that means I better get to writing about our favorite love affair. ;) Also, a treat I think: this chapter is from the gorgeous Will's perspective… nice to get into his head a little bit too, I think.

If there's anything you all would like to see happen in this story, please let me know. I can't guarantee that I'll include ANY idea, but I do aim to please. As always, THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING, AND CONTINUE TO REVIEW! You're all great!

CHAPTER 5

_How many times could I possible have this woman in one day? _Will wonders, as he presses her lips to hers once more. His thirst is suddenly insatiable. Even during their affair, he hadn't needed her this much. It scared and exhilarated him. Alicia collapsed easily under him, wrapping her arms around his sides. He sighed into her, marveling in how quickly she resigned to him. He could feel the desire unfurling in his chest, elated in this moment to be the only one that Alicia wanted.

Her lips are incredibly soft against his. He brings his hands up to her head, threading his fingers through her dark hair. He loves how delicate she feels under him—how small she is, how smooth her skin is, how compliant she is to his every move.

_I love you. _The words tumble around Will's brain, whisking away any other thought that could enter his mind. Had he ever said that to anyone else before? Not that he could remember. He was careful not to. Many women had said it to him before, but he hadn't believed them. The way some women loved was like how he loved a good movie. He impacted them quickly, drastically, but irrationally. He didn't want irrational love—that is unsteady, founded only in quick emotions and fleeting attractions.

What he wanted was Alicia. Alicia was deliciously complicated. Her mind moves a hundred miles a minute—possibly faster than his own moves. She perplexes him every moment of every day, and he loves that. The challenge to figure out what she's thinking. Earning Alicia's love wasn't easy, but the thought that he somehow had made him feel proud. It made him feel like he was becoming the man that he had always wanted to be, not just "Chicago's 16th most eligible bachelor."

He briefly pulled back from Alicia, soaking in her appearance. She peered up at him, her near-black eyes shining with a sort of glow that he hadn't seen in her for a long time. Her gaze softened on him, and from the depths of himself he could feel his love for her. No matter how much fear pricked at his heart, he knew that loving her deserved every fiber of his being, and he was willing to give that.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Yes," he replied easily. "I just like to look at you."

She laughed, somewhat shyly, which was very unlike Alicia. It seemed that they were both in uncertain territory, something neither of them were familiar with. They were both used to being in control. Now they were being forced to surrender their own control to the other person, and it was difficult for both of them. At least they could understand each other.

His lips met hers again tenderly, somewhat warily, asking instead of taking. They were on foreign territory—it was time to explore again. He was always eager to explore every part of Alicia, but this part was equal parts terrifying as it was fulfilling.

He inhaled deeply and then his hands were in her hair. His mouth was everywhere: her mouth, her nose, her cheeks, along her jawline—the sweetness of her skin was electrifying. She squirmed under him, a little ticklish, and he smiled into her smooth complexion.

Abruptly, he scooped her up off of the couch. She let out a small, adorable giggle, grabbing onto his shoulders and holding herself close to him. She doesn't question him, ever trusting. Her breathing is light in his ear. She nibbles at his earlobe as they walk towards the bedroom.

His legs feel weak and his pace quickens. He needs her _now_. The anger that filled him before has been replaced by a different monster, a monster that aches for connection instead of pure satisfaction. He needs to look into her eyes as he is inside of her, and _feel _her—not just her body, but her mind, her soul, every part of her.

He lays her on the bed and slips his shirt easily off of her. Naked Alicia is so sexy. On one drunken night at Georgetown he had seen her naked, but he had been too young to know how to appreciate it. College was a slew of women, and little did he know that Alicia would be his "one that got away."

He found her even more beautiful than he had all those years ago. She was equally as savvy, equally as cunning, equally as gorgeous, but now her confidence was incredible. She knew she was all those things, and he loved that.

Will's mouth landed on her sternum, right between her breasts. He peered up at her just in time to see her tip her head back, her eyes closing, her breath quickening. He left a trail of kisses from her sternum to her belly button, pausing there and blowing evenly into her navel. He could feel her shudder underneath him, and he smiled to himself.

He returned to her breasts, circling her left nipple with his tongue. He nibbled occasionally, sometimes very softly, and sometimes hard. She whimpered underneath him, and he found himself clutching her hips harder than he was meaning to. She didn't seem to notice.

He trailed down again, to the inside of her thigh. There he clamped down, sucking fervently, until Alicia shoved his head off, laughing. "Will!" He smiled with satisfaction at the mark he had left. He grinned at her, and the grin had its desired effect: Alicia nearly swooned at the sight of him. Without hesitating, he bent down and slid his tongue into her. Alicia let out a stuttery "Ahhhh" and collapsed onto the bed once again.

Will slid his tongue up and down her, eliciting many different sounds from Alicia. They remained like this for several minutes, until Alicia began to rock her hips onto him. She was suddenly quiet, and Will knew he was getting close. He moved his tongue up to her clit, flicking quickly, and slid his fingers into her.

Alicia's hands clawed the sheets next to her, and she yelled, "Oh my God, Will! Oh my—Oh—" Will clutched her hips as she came, and she moaned loudly. Satisfaction grew in Will's chest.

He stood from her, and then his lips met hers once again. "I want this every day, every hour, every minute," he whispered onto her lips. "I never want you away from me."

Alicia's face was contorted to express the intense pleasure she was feeling. All she could do was murmur, "Yes."

As the word left her mouth, Will slid into her, watching her face carefully. She was one to close her eyes, but he was not. He took great delight in the way she squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her teeth, digging her hands into whatever was next to her. A light sigh escaped her lips, and he kissed it away.

In and out, in and out… the movement felt so much fuller than it had before. Without the anger, there was nothing in between them. He felt free. He felt so aware of every part of her—her soft hips against his, her breasts, moving with the rest of her body, and her exquisite expressions.

He quickens his pace, getting more urgent. The passion was building in him, and he knew he wouldn't last long. Every part of him was reaching towards her, screaming for her, longing for her. It made him feel almost high. He couldn't contain all of these emotions, but for once, that was okay.

He groaned into her, breathing rapidly and grabbing the sheets behind her head. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling her closer to him. He could feel her skin on so much of his body. It was an intoxicating feeling.

He came in her, heaving his relief, and then wrapped his arms tightly around her.

She curled into him, her skin warm and slightly sweaty. He watched her blink slowly, absorbing in the after-effects. _My _Alicia, he thought. No longer was this some forbidden office sex—she was _his_. Maybe forever. He wouldn't have to sneak around, he wouldn't have to pretend not to care, he wouldn't have to watch that asshole Peter handle her whenever he wanted to.

Will realized that Alicia had fallen asleep, and with a small smile, he set his head on hers and allowed himself to do the same.


	6. New Developments

A/N: Maybe it's time to pop the bubble?

Enjoy.

CHAPTER 6

Alicia wakes to the sound of her phone vibrating. The noise cuts into her like a thin knife, jolting her out of what had been a very deep sleep.

She almost rises to answer it, but then realizes how incredibly warm she is. Upon further recollection she recalls that she is in Will's arms. How long had they slept like this? She hadn't slept in anyone's arms since she and Peter first got married, so long ago. She didn't remember it feeling quite this good.

She looks up at Will. His head is leaned against the headboard behind him, and his mouth is slightly ajar. She knew he was a light sleeper, so he must be very tired to have slept through her phone buzzing.

He looks so relaxed. Even on his best days Will is not a peaceful type of person, but that is what he looks. A light stubble was beginning to form, and Alicia resists the urge to press her lips to that irresistible jawline.

Reluctantly, she reaches over to look at her phone.

16 missed calls.

3 from Peter, and 13 from one Eli Gold.

_Dear God_, Alicia thinks. As much as she likes Eli, she wouldn't be sad to be free from him for a week or two.

It was time to return to reality. The thought of reality is almost foreign to her now—how could they be lawyers? How could she be divorcing a husband? Surely this is all she's known—Will, kissing her, holding her, carrying her across the room? How could the rest of it be real?

Alicia leans over and kisses Will on his jaw, just like she wanted to. He awoke peacefully, blinking up at her. A smile slowly spread across his lips as he murmured, "Good morning, gorgeous."

The butterflies flutter in Alicia's stomach. "Good morning," she says back feebly. This side of Will is one she is caught off-guard by, but it is also one that she craves.

"What time is it?" he asks.

Alicia looks at her phone. "10:15," she breathes out.

"Holy shit," Will says. "I haven't slept that late since high school." His voice is even more rough and sexy in the morning.

Alicia nods in agreement. It feels bizarre.

"I guess we should… go to work, or something," Will says.

"I guess." Alicia likes his lack of concern. As married to his work as Will is, the fact that he is not concerned means that she is more important than his work.

"We should probably hurry," Will says emptily.

"Probably."

They lay silently for a few moments, and then Will leans over to her and kisses her. Alicia feels the kiss like liquid throughout her body. She's sore from yesterday, and she can feel every aching muscle in her body. It feels good. It feels alive.

His hands frame her face, and she wraps her arms around his strong shoulders. They entangle themselves underneath his sheets once more, and she can feel how hard he is already. It thrills her that he is so aroused by her. Not many years ago she was just a housewife, an accessory to a powerful but cold man, and now _this _man found her irresistible… no matter how much stronger she felt she was becoming, she didn't think she'd ever be able to believe that this was happening to her.

His hands travel to her breasts, and she inches towards him. The space in between them always seems to large. She claws at his shirt, wanting it off. He breaks off the kiss and peels off his shirt, and then goes to kiss her again.

Her phone vibrates next to them. Will stops, looking at it.

"It's Eli," he says.

Alicia exhales in irritation.

"We really should get back to work," Will says.

"Why?" Alicia startles herself by pouting.

Will smiles playfully, nipping at her lips. "If we start this again, we may never stop." He says it like it's a threat, and it sounds delicious on his lips.

"I have no objections to that," Alicia says.

Will smiles at her, but climbs out of bed. Alicia remains for a moment, feeling disappointed. She knows they have to stop sooner or later. She was just hoping for _later_.

Alicia was about to pull open the handle to her firm when a loud shout came from behind her: "Alicia!"

Immediately, she recognizes the oh-so-familiar voice of Eli Gold. She turns, trying to look irritated, even though nothing could irritate her today.

"Alicia," he pants, looking flustered. The man looks as if he hasn't slept for days on end. He runs a hand through his stringy hair, and breathes to her: "You're getting a divorce."

"Good morning to you too, Eli," Alicia says curtly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to divorce him?"

"Last time I checked I don't consult you on my marriage," Alicia bristles back at him.

"Alicia! How could you—Don't you know what this will do to him?" Alicia says nothing, and he leans in closer to her, almost snarling: "You and I both know he is _nothing _without you, but he is also a _hell _of a good politician. You're ruining his career! You're ruining _my _career!"

Guilt blossoms in Alicia's chest, guilt she knew would arrive sooner or later. "I'm sorry, Eli. I just couldn't do it anymore."

"The press is going to make a shit storm out of this, you know that, right?"

Alicia sighs. "Yes, I know that."

"And your kids will be involved."

_"Don't _make me out to be a bad mother," Alicia hisses. "Just because I'm divorcing my cheating husband does not make me a bad mother."

"Oh, you tell yourself that," he growls back at her.

"Good-bye, Eli," Alicia says curtly, opening the door to Florrick/Agos and stepping in. The elation from this morning was beginning to wear already. She knew this would be a mess, but was she ready for it? Were her kids ready for it?

_Yes, _the small voice in her chest said. She'd been doing the right thing by Peter for so long, with so little in return. It was time that she figured out what _she _needed. Zach and Grace would be okay.

_They'll be okay_, Alicia reassured herself.

She sat down at her desk, sighing heavily. The desk was full of papers. She'd been organizing everything for the case she was supposed to argue yesterday—vaguely, she wonders how that went. The red button signifying missed calls was lighting up on her phone. Probably from Eli and Peter.

Cary pops his head in. "Hey, where were you yesterday?"

"I had an emergency come up," Alicia says, knowing that she sounds flustered.

Cary eyes her a little suspiciously. She can't blame him. "Okay… Couldn't have called or anything? I was a little unprepared."

"No, I'm sorry. Everything just kind of got away from me."

He nods, and drops the subject. He's a good guy. Alicia appreciates him, even if he can be young and idealistic sometimes. "How did it go?" She asks.

"Good. Surprisingly good. I think it's going to go our way."

"That's great. Do you need me to do anything to help?"

"Maybe. But first… some reporters have been calling my desk. Looking for you. They left me their numbers." He steps into her office, handing her a post-it note. "They were a little insistent, so maybe call them back first, and then I'll tell you what I need for the case."

"Yeah, sure." Alicia's heart was beating fast. Reporters were not her favorite thing. "Thanks, Cary."

"Sure thing." He smiles his friendly smile, and then disappears.

Alicia looks at the post-it note, frowning. She breathes, wondering what horrible questions they'll have thought up for her this time.

She picks up the phone and first dials for her voicemail.

"Alicia—Eli Gold here. Call me ASAP."

"Alicia—Eli again. Where are you? I need to talk to you!"

"Hey, Alicia." The voice is tired. It's Peter's. "I've been trying to give you some space, but I just… I can't anymore. Please call me back, I'd really like to talk to you."

"Where ARE you?" Eli again.

There is a knock on her door. Alicia starts, nearly dropping her phone. Can't everything slow down for just a second? She looks up.

It's Peter.


	7. Alicia's Rebuttal

A/N: Hey all. Time for another update in the world of Alicia and Will!

I'm not sure if everyone else feels this way, but I HATE the formatting of the stories once you upload them to this website. I cannot figure out, for the life of me, how to format things correctly. I put asterisks or little slash marks or whatever to try to show a transition, and the website erases them! And I know some of my chapters are completely in bold, too—sorry about that. If it infuriates you as well, I'm sorry my formatting looks so bad.

DESPITE awful formatting, I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks especially for cinnamonlover, scaryand damaged, and guategal for reviewing multiple times. Those of you who continue to return, thanks for being on this journey with Will and Alicia!

CHAPTER 7

Alicia set the phone on its hitch and drew in a shaky breath. This day was going at a hundred miles a minute, and she _really _did not feel like dealing with Peter at the moment.

"Peter," she said, and the irritation was already obvious in her voice.

"I just want a few minutes," he says softly, stepping into her office. "I know you don't want to talk to me Alicia, and I understand, but I just…" He pauses, looking up at her in that sad, genuine way that he sometimes does. "I'm begging you. Please."

"I've been out for a day and a half. I have a lot of work to do."

She can tell Peter's interest has piqued at why she would be out for a day and a half, but he says nothing more other than, "_Please_."

Alicia looks at her messy desk once more, and then scoops up her purse. "Fine. I missed my coffee this morning. Let's go get some."

He follows her from her office, outside to the unusually warm weather that had been greeting Chicago recently. Alicia digs for her wallet, and they set down the street towards the courtyard.

"You look different today," Peter says. "You look good. Has something changed?"

"Nope," Alicia replies tersely. "What is it you need?"

"I need you," he says, somewhat struggling to keep up with her. "I want you back."

"It's a little late for that." Alicia's coat whips behind her, and her high heels click loudly on the concrete below them. She breathes in the harsh air, desperately trying to hold on to the feeling of Will's arms around her.

"It can't be. Alicia, I know I've made mistakes. I've made so many mistakes. But you don't throw away eighteen years of marriage. It isn't just about us—it's about Zach and Grace. They still think we're doing better. They were feeling more hopeful. They thought we were going to be a family again."

They reach Alicia's favorite vender, and she orders a small coffee with a little bit of sugar. The vender hands her her change and her coffee, looking sideways at Peter, who he probably recognizes. Alicia grasps the cup tightly, willing its warmth to enter the rest of her body.

"That argument is invalid coming from you, Peter. Were you thinking of Zach and Grace when you slept with that hooker?" Peter retaliates from her. "You know I'm over that. It happened, and it's over now—but I don't love you. I can't love you any more. I'm tired of being in your shadow. And Zach and Grace… they're fantastic. They're resilient. They can handle this, probably better than you or I can."

"Sure they can handle it, but why make them?"

"Because for once in my life, I think _I _deserve to be happy. I was not born to please you."

Peter's mouth hardens into a thin line. "I have never thought you were born to please me." His voice is firm and steady. They have reached Florrick/Agos again. "I'll leave you alone today, Alicia," he says, looking into her eyes. "But I'm not done fighting for you."

_Great, _Alicia thinks, as Peter turns and walks away from her. She pulls on the door to her firm and stalks back in again, very irritated, despite her best efforts to remain in a good mood.

The conversation with Peter has rattled her. It irritates her that he thinks he can be _in pursuit _of her—he's keeping things open-ended, making it seem like they're still _working on it_. How can she show that things are really over? How can this be final? How can she finally rid herself of the last name _Florrick_?

As her name echoes in her head, another name flutters across the landscape: _Alicia Gardner_. The thought catches her by surprise, so much so that she nearly stops in her tracks. _Alicia Gardner. _The name sounds good. It sounds natural.

_Alicia Gardner._

Alicia pulls herself together, entering her office again. She needed to stay focused for the moment on how to really separate herself from Peter. It was time. As angry as she was, she could already feel it fading. Really what she was was _tired_. She was tired of fighting, tired of hiding things from Zach and Grace, tired of attending press conferences that she didn't give a shit about.

Something yellow catches Alicia's eye. She recognizes the post-it note that Cary handed her this morning—the one with reporters' phone numbers on it.

Alicia dialed a familiar number on her phone, suddenly having an idea.

Eli picked up promptly, as he always does. "Hello, Alicia." He sounds irritated, just as he did when she saw him, not even an hour ago.

"Eli. Sorry to do this to you, but it's time. I need to divorce Peter. I'm going to make an announcement to a reporter. I'm done doing his bidding, I'm done doing it the _right way_—I'm going to give a simple, factual statement, and that will be that."

"Alicia! Don't do that!" Eli's voice is panicky, as Alicia expected. "Please—just let us hold a press conference. We can get one together by tomorrow night. Let us tell the public."

Alicia felt her conscious wanting her to waiver, but she pushed it aside. "No. I can't wait any longer. I can't do any more press conferences. I can't see Peter right now, I can't listen to both of you begging me to stay."

"This isn't right and you know it," he hisses at her.

"It may not be right for you, but it is right for me," Alicia says, somewhat softly. "Eli—stop thinking like a campaign manager for a second. Can you do that?"

She can almost hear the internal battle raging within Eli through the phone. He is silent for a very long moment, and then he manages: "Yes."

"We've known each other for a while. Not since the beginning, but a while. I have done everything you asked and more. I have played my part. I know you haven't seen it, but I've played my part for eighteen _years. _And then I stood in front of millions of people as my husband admitted his infidelity. I have lived with that ever since. It follows me everywhere, Eli. And still, he expects me to support his every decision, be at every press conference, stand by him no matter what work or personal sacrifices I have to make. He _uses _me, and I _know_ that you know that."

Eli says nothing, but Alicia can tell it isn't because he's angry.

"Don't respond to me as Peter's campaign manager. Respond to me as a friend. I have helped you every second of the way. I have been reliable, calm, and just as warm as a governor's wife should be—and you know he hasn't deserved a second of it."

"Okay." His voice is shaky. "I understand. I hate it, but I understand."

"Thank you," Alicia says, feeling immediately relieved.

Another silence follows, and Alicia is about to say good-bye when Eli says: "You're a wonderful person, Alicia. No matter what you do, that will always be true."

There is a _click _and Eli is gone.

Alicia sets her phone down and stares, bewildered, at her office door. A compliment from Eli… how novel.

One last phone call.

Alicia picks the first number on the post-it note and dials it. A woman quickly picks up. "Penelope Clearwater." The voice is chipper and young sounding—typical reporter.

"Hello, this is Alicia Florrick. You phoned my office earlier."

There is a loud _crash _on the other end and the reporter scrambles to say, "Mrs. Florrick, hello. I'm very surprised to hear from you! I did call your office earlier, because I wanted to ask you a few questions about—"

"I know why you called," Alicia interjects. "I want to make a statement."

"Fantastic—let me find my notepad, I jotted down a few questions that I would love to ask you."

"I don't have time to answer questions. You'll just get one statement. Are you ready."

More noise on the other end, and then Penelope finally gets her bearings: "Yes, I'm ready."

"Peter and I have decided to get a divorce. After a very long time of working hard to make things work between us, we simply can't continue anymore. I think Peter is a wonderful father and an excellent governor. I have every confidence that he will lead the state of Illinois towards great things, and the people should not be concerned that Peter has lost my support. I support him fully."

"That's great," Penelope says, and Alicia can hear her scratching away at a pad of paper. She half rolls her eyes at her response—_that's great, you're getting a divorce. _Reporters. "Are you sure I couldn't just ask a few—"

"No," Alicia says, "Have a good day."

"You too, thank you, Mrs. Florrick."

Alicia hangs up. A sort of relief rushes through her body. _It's over. _Peter will not be able to pursue her any longer, because she has done the worst of it. His campaign will feel the damage caused by her decision, so he has no reason to continue with his attempts to talk to her.

By lunch, the article was written. It was on the internet, _everywhere_. Alicia scrolled through the article, which was fairly short. It contained her exact statement, and several filler comments from coworkers back at Lockhart/Gardner and from the reporter herself. One particularly annoying comment was from David at Lockhart Gardner: "Oh yeah, I've been planning her divorce for years. I always thought those two deserved each other, though."

_Screw you, David, _Alicia thought. Her mind wandered to Zach and Grace, who were still at school. Hopefully she could get back to the apartment in time to let them know what was going on before they saw it.

Her phone beeps, signifying a text message. Her heart flutters as she sees that it is from Will.

"Saw the article. Lunch at my place?"

The text soothes her. Many times texts from Will excite her and put her on edge, and although this test does excite her, for the first time she also feels comforted. Surely this would end in sex, but he was thinking of her. And he was taking a lunch break, which was unheard of.

"Be there in ten," Alicia typed back. She scooped up her bag and keys and headed out the door again.

What a mess of a day. She had barely gotten any work done. She was sure that Cary would be getting irritated soon—especially now that she was about to take her full hour for lunch—but she didn't care. He would see the article too, and hopefully he would be merciful on her.

Alicia's mind was moving so quickly that the car ride lasted only an instant. She let herself up to Will's floor and knocked on his door.

He opened it immediately, greeting her in one of her favorite black suits. The sight of him brought immediate comfort to her. He smiles crookedly, his eyes moving down her slowly. Then they return to her eyes, and his gaze goes from desirous to compassionate.

_Compassion. _She had only seen it a few times in Will's eyes, and once it had led to them kissing. That kiss—the first since Georgetown—had been what started it all. It made her feel warm to see it in his eyes, directed towards her.

"That was ballsy," he says to her.

"I know," Alicia sighs.

"Come here," he whispers, and she does. He pulls her purse off of her and wraps his arms all the way around her. He envelops her completely, and she closes her eyes. She inhales the smell of his cologne, and marvels at how immediately warm she feels. She lets him rock her ever so slightly, clinging to him.

"I didn't expect you to do that," he murmurs to her.

"I know," Alicia replies. "It just had to be done."

"A reporter, huh?"

She nods into his chest.

They are silent. He sways, and brings a hand up to stroke her hair.

Eventually they separate, and he leads her again into his apartment.

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. Public Affair

CHAPTER 8

TWO MONTHS LATER

Alicia woke to the sound of bickering in the room next to her. She could tell it was Zach and Grace fighting. They were reaching adulthood and still they bickered over who had to make the coffee.

She turned over and looked at the clock. 8:45. Late for her—even on a Saturday. But early for Zach and Grace… no wonder they were fighting. Both were probably grouchy from lack of sleep, but she had asked them to get up early so that they could all go out for breakfast.

She was going to tell them about Will.

After two months of seeing each other in secret, it was time to become exclusive. Soon the press would know, and Diane and Cary would know, and everyone at their respective firms. But first Zach and Grace deserved to know.

She would go out to breakfast with them, and then it was Peter's turn to have them for the weekend. She would tell him, too. They hadn't spoken much over the past two months, although Peter had tried. Every time he visited her apartment he tried to offer her reasons they should be together. He often brought small gifts. But Alicia never had the time. She became good at excuses: pretending to be on the phone, running to "get something that's on the stove," and many other creative stories. Peter still wasn't getting the picture… but today he would. Today he would back off.

Alicia was not excited to have the conversation with him. She was nervous to tell Zach and Grace about it, but not as nervous as telling Peter. After feeding the reporter information about her relationship with Peter, she had expected him to back off. But he didn't. He persisted, and his attempts hadn't even begun to lessen in intensity.

Alicia sat up, and a wave of nausea hit her. She moaned, doubling over slightly. _What the hell? _She thought. After several minutes of sitting like this, it faded. _Today is not a good day to be sick_, she told herself… as if that would help.

She got ready quickly, pulling her hair back in a loose pony-tail and pulling on an old Georgetown sweatshirt and some jeans. Weekends were good for casual clothes. Weekends used to stand for loneliness, _Law and Order _marathons, and eating too much or too little. It used to mean no Zach and Grace, no husband, and no life. But now the weekends mean casual, comfy clothes. They mean Will. They mean dates and walks and wearing his clothes. Alicia smiles as she emerges from her room, despite the bickering that is growing in volume.

"Zach and Grace, time to go," she yells to them.

Her children stalk down the hall, scowling at each other. "I can't wait to go to college," Zach mutters.

"I can't wait for you to go either," Grace says back.

"Hey, guys," Alicia says sternly. "Can we please just have a nice breakfast together? I've been looking forward to hanging out with you two all week."

They both avert their eyes, but nod nonetheless.

"Good. Let's go."

They reach their favorite diner and settle into an old, cracked booth. The place smells like coffee and old pipes, but the food is excellent and people tend to not recognize her as Mrs. Florrick here. They all enjoy the anonymity of eating somewhere that doesn't cost $20 for a plate of eggs.

All three order coffee, and Alicia can't help but notice—as she frequently does—how grown up they are becoming. A few months ago Grace couldn't stand the taste of coffee, and now she was just as addicted as her mother and older brother. Maybe not the best sign of adulthood, but a sign nonetheless.

"Thanks for getting up early with me this morning," Alicia says to them, smiling.

They have relaxed slightly towards each other. Zach half-shrugs as if to say "No problem," and Grace says, "We like getting to see you too, Mom. You've been busy lately."

"Yes, I know, and I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. You seem happy." Grace smiles compassionately, and Zach just looks at her in the searching, curious way that he always does.

"I am. How are you two doing?"

They look at each other, and Zach answers first: "I want to start looking at colleges."

The coffee is delivered to them, and they all thank the waitress, who promptly ignores them, underpaid and indifferent to her job. None of them mind. "Okay," Alicia says, sipping her coffee. "Any places in mind?"

"A few. But I want to talk to Eli before I make a definitive list. I know he'll have good advice about it."

"That sounds good, Zach. I'm glad you're talking to Eli; you're right, he will have good advice. I'd be happy to take some days off of work and visit colleges with you. I'm sure Dad would be, too."

"Thanks. I think… I might want to go somewhere out of state."

"Alright… Why's that?"

"I want to have less of a name for myself when I get there. I'm sure no matter where I go people will know who my dad is, but it will be worse in Illinois. I want to do this on my own. I want to be good at whatever I choose to do, and not just be in Dad's shadow. I like helping Dad on the campaign, but it isn't what I want to do for the rest of my career."

Alicia spins her cup slowly. "That makes sense."

Zach looks a little surprised. "It does?"

"Yes, it does. Although I'll miss you, I can understand what you're saying. I know you can be great on your own, without the help of your father's last name."

He smiles brightly. "Thanks, Mom."

"Of course." She takes another sip of coffee and then looks at her daughter. "How about my Grace? How's school going?"

"It's fine," Grace says vaguely. "I like it less and less every day, but it's fine."

"What's wrong with school? You used to love it."

"That's before that article was written about me… the one about the politician's hot daughters. I thought it was cool at first… but now… Not so much, I guess."

Alicia's stomach churned a little bit at the thought of that article. How annoying. It irritated her that people were writing articles about her children, but especially when it said anything that objectified them. Grace was extremely pretty, but she was also sixteen years old. As far as Alicia was concerned, Grace could wait to date until college, but she knew that would not happen.

"Have things changed because of it?" Alicia asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

Grace shrugged lightly, but her expression gave away how upset she was about it. "My friends are jealous. They don't talk to me as much. They act like I _wanted _the article to be written. The senior girls make fun of me for it all the time. And the boys…" she trailed off, glancing sideways at Zach, who was making fists and looking at his thumbs. "They notice me too. But not in good ways."

"I told you to tell me about that stuff," Zach almost growled at her.

Grace scowled at him. "I can't just run to my brother any time a guy talks to me!"

"No, but I know they're doing more than _talking, _and it pisses me off!"

"Zach!" Alicia says. "Language, please."

"Mom, you don't understand," Zach says.

Alicia reaches across the table and wraps her fingers around Zach's forearms. "I love that you look out for your little sister," she says warmly. "But Grace has a point. It wouldn't be good for either of you if you swooped in to rescue Grace every time a guy looks at her sideways."

"They shouldn't."

"You're right. But it's going to happen."

"Whatever."

Grace rolls her eyes at him, but her smile gives away the fact that she isn't really agitated with him. "However," Alicia continues, "If any guy lays his hands on Grace without her wanting it, you have my permission to kick his ass."

They both smile at her. The waitress brings their food—Grace's chocolate chip pancake, Alicia's green pepper omlet, and Zach's stack of blueberry pancakes.

They begin eating, and Alicia tries to sound confident as she says, "There's a reason I wanted to bring you two out for breakfast this morning."

They look at each other and laugh slightly. "We knew it," Zach says.

Alicia grins back at him. "I did want to just see my lovely children, too," she says.

"Sure," Zach teases. "Just get on with it."

Alicia fidgets with her fork, pushing her food around. "As you know, your father and I signed our divorce papers a month and a half ago."

They continue eating, glancing at her in between bites.

"In that time, I have started dating again."

They both stop eating and look at each other once again. Grace sort of snickers, and Zach nods.

"What?" Alicia asks.

"Go on," Grace says, smirking at her.

"No, what are you two laughing at?"

They both giggle now. Zach looks at Grace and nudges her. Grace says, "We were just wondering how long it would take for you to get with Will."

Alicia blinks rapidly at them, momentarily speechless. "I—you—how did you?"

"Please, Mom," Zach says. "We may be teenagers, but we aren't blind. He's been all over you for the past four years. We know you like him, too."

Alicia mulls over this, and then watches as her children exchange glances and continue shoveling food into their mouths. "Does this mean…?"

Grace smiles warmly at her. "It's okay. We like Will."

Zach adds, "And we want you to be happy."

Alicia gawks slightly, and then recovers. "I'm lucky to have such fantastic children."

They laugh, and Zach says, "We know."

There is a knock on the door, and Alicia calls for Zach and Grace. They both scoop up their backpacks and hurry towards her. "I can't wait until my car is fixed," Zach mutters.

She opens the door, and Peter is there. "Will you two go wait in the car for your father?" She says to the kids. "I need to talk to your dad for just a minute."

Zach and Grace look at each other, and Grace smiles a tiny smile, directed right at Alicia. It warms her mother's heart. "Sure," Zach says, and they disappear into the hallway.

"What's going on?" Peter asks, stepping towards her. He is always standing too close.

"Nothing big, I just need to tell you something before it goes public."

"Oh?" Peter raises his eyebrows, and Alicia notices his ever-graying hair. As soon as he took office the gray invaded his hair. He was looking older and older, and here she was, feeling younger than she had felt in a very, very long time.

"I'm seeing Will." It came out strong, but inside, Alicia was in a panic.

"Will Gardner." Peter clenches his jaw, and out of the corner of her eye, Alicia sees his left hand curl into a fist.

"Yes. Will Gardner."

Peter is silent for a moment, and then he turns away from her, muttering something that sounds like _sonofabitch_. She smiles inwardly, but tries not to take too much joy in his pain.

Then he turns back to her, and a sort of calm washes over his face. "Great. Thanks for telling me."

Alicia raises an eyebrow. He is burying his emotions. She doesn't mind—she doesn't really want to deal with his emotions at the moment, anyway. "No problem. I figured it was only fair."

"Yes." His voice is stiff. "I'll see you next weekend."

"Sure," Alicia murmurs, and watches as he disappears down the hallway, after her children.

Will admires Alicia as she sleeps next to him. It's 11 o'clock at night, and usually at this time he would be on top of her, but it's been a long day for her. He can't imagine.

A rush of affection hits him square in the chest as he watches her sleep. She has given up so much for him. She has taken such huge steps to secure their relationship—something maybe just months ago they would have both been terrified of. Now their affair was turning into a real _relationship_… something they had just dreamed about was becoming a reality. Alicia would be his girlfriend. He could take her places. He could brag about her. He could hold hands with her in public and kiss her without fearing a reporter would see them.

The thought of having Alicia is still scary, but it is still wonderful. A small, timid part of Will knows that he may be stumbling into something more real than he has ever experienced. Alicia may very well have been "the one that got away" for him, and now that he had her again, he knew it could lead many different places. She may be the one. Will had never thought of himself as someone who believed in "the one," but watching Alicia's chest rise and fall, and feeling the thrill in his chest, he could begin to believe it.

A harsh knock suddenly sounded at the door, and he jumped slightly. Alicia didn't move except to continue breathing. They were on the couch, and she was laying on one end, he was sitting on the other. He moved her feet from off of him and got up to see who could possibly want to talk to him now.

He turned the doorknob, and was very surprised at who was there.

Peter.


	9. A Kink in the Plan

A/N: Thank you for continuing to review! I intended this story to be only one chapter, so it's surprising me every chapter as well. I have some ideas for where it could go, but I have no idea how long it will end up being… so I'm glad you all like it, and please continue to review to tell me if I'm doing okay. I don't want to disappoint! Those of you who have reviewed every chapter, I'm so flattered. It's taken a lot of effort to post this often (I do have a life, I promise) but I really enjoy reading the reviews, so that is why I continue. Eventually I'll be back at school and it won't be possible to review this often, but I'll keep it up as long as I can! : ) Thanks again!

Side note—WHY DO SHOWS GO ON HIATUS THAT'S STUPID… I'm so sad that I have to wait until March 9th to see Will's face again.

Anyway.

CHAPTER 9

Peter stepps into the apartment uninvited. His face is suddenly inches from Will's, and Will can smell the alcohol on his breath. He's never seen Peter like this. He sways slowly back and forth, and the look in his eyes is one of far-gone rage.

"Peter," Will says calmly, "Take a step back. Don't do anything stupid."

Peter clenches his jaw, glaring into Will's eyes.

"Think about your campaign. You're the _governor_, for Christ's sake, think about that."

"There are things more important than being governor," Peter snarls.

Will's competitive nature flares inside of him. "What do you mean by that?"

"I am not just a governor. I am a _husband_."

"Not anymore," Will growls at him.

"This is far from over between Alicia and I," Peter snaps at him. "I am the _father _of her children. You're just some pretty, easy lay. You've wanted her since Georgetown and she's _always _chosen me."

"Go to hell, Peter," Will spat at him. "You got her pregnant. She chose you because she's good. She's a good person. But now she's done with your cheating ass, and she's finally where she's supposed to be. With _me._"

Peter's fist comes out of nowhere, finding the corner of Will's jaw. The pain is shooting, jarring, and it sends Will sprawling backwards. The passionate rage flares inside of him even stronger, and he regains his balance and barrels into Peter. Peter is drunk, so he's not really a fair opponent, but Will isn't in the mood to be merciful.

"Listen to me, you _son of a bitch_. You had your run. You're right, you won at Georgetown. You got the girl. But you fucked it up, man. You fucked it up big time. And now it's my turn. _I'm _right for her. You can be damn sure I'm not going to be screwing some hooker when I've got someone as—" Will pauses, the emotions building up in his chest, "as gorgeous and passionate as Alicia at my side." He looks Peter in the eye, scowling deeply at him. "You're an asshole, Peter. And a fool." With one last shove, he let Peter fall to the floor. "Get out of here. Get out of our lives."

Peter clumsily stands up, using the wall for support. He looks at Will once again, and then his gaze falls on something behind Will. Will turns, and sees Alicia staring at both of them.

"Alicia," Peter says, but doesn't continue. He looks at her as if he expects her to stand up for him, or comfort him.

Alicia's gaze looks sympathetic, but she only says, "Get out, Peter."

Peter searches her face for a few seconds, and then turns to look at Will once more. Will sizes him up, daring him to punch him one more time. Then he'd really be able to beat the shit out of this idiot. "This isn't over," he whispers to Will.

"Yes, it is," Will growls back. Peter lingers for a few seconds, and then leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Alicia rushes to Will, gingerly touching his chin. "Are you okay?"

Will shakes away his aggression, and smiles at her. "I'm fine. More than fine. I'm sorry that he woke you."

"I'm sorry that he punched you."

Will shrugged. "Gave me a chance to give him a piece of my mind."

She grins. "I appreciated that."

Alicia's hand is still touching his face, and they look into each other's eyes. "I love you," Will says. The adoration that clouds Alicia's eyes is something Will hopes will never go away. It is obvious the way that he affects her, and he is so happy that she no longer feels the need to contain or hide it.

She kisses him, slowly, tenderly, making sure he isn't hurt. His jaw does twinge a little, but not enough to keep him from wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer. As she kisses him, the throbbing in his jaw slowly ebbs away, and he is completely absorbed into his desire for her.

Alicia moans into him, and he can feel it deep down inside of him. She is a wonderful kisser—so expressive. He loves how she gasps and moans as he travels around her body, letting him know when he reaches her in just the right way.

He scoops her up easily and she lets out a small, adorable yelp. They are in the bedroom in seconds, where he lays her down and easily strips off her pants. Next is her lacy underwear, and her thin t-shirt. He is elated to see that she's not wearing a bra tonight.

He brushes her nipples and growls to her, "Have I told you lately how incredibly sexy you are?"

Alicia bites her lip and reaches out to him, unbuttoning his pants. He steps out of them and she pulls his boxers down as well. And then, much to his surprise, she buries his length into her mouth.

Will moans without meaning to. She catches him so by surprise that he can't help emitting a small expression of pleasure.

This is new.

Alicia swirls her tongue around him, bobbing her head over him and away from him at an exquisite pace. He grabs two handfuls of her hair and leans into her, panting slightly.

Alicia looks up at him and his chest fills with longing. _She's perfect_, he thinks. He pulls her closer, until he is deep inside of her mouth. Then he releases her, pulling her up to him. He can tell by her small smile that she knows she'll be rewarded for that.

He loosens his tie and takes it off. "Do you trust me?" he purrs.

Alicia's eyes widen, but she nods.

He ties her wrists to his headboard. She grins wryly at him, as if to say, _bring it on. _

He leans into her and whispers, "I'm going to taste every part of you." He feels her sigh on his face, and notices that the hairs immediately stand up on her arm. She has goosebumps.

He kisses her jaw and then moves to her neck, kissing her everywhere. He flicks his tongue against the base of her neck, and she shudders under him. The effect on him is strong. He aches to be in her, but he wants to draw this out as much as possible for her.

He kisses her collarbone, her chest, and then swirls his tongue around her nipples. She has perfect skin. He hovers above her nipples, breathing deeply onto them, but never touching them. She arches to reach him, but he only draws away. He nibbles on the side of her breasts, kisses her sternum, and then trails down her belly.

Alicia wiggles under him as he nears her center. He kisses inside of her thigh, and then moves lower and lower, kissing down her knee, her calf, and then finally reaching her feet. He nibbles softly on her toes, and she giggles.

He smiles and moves upward again, kissing her on the lips. "Tell me what you want, Alicia," he purrs. Hearing her voice is such a turn-on.

"I want you in me," she groans. "I want to feel you on top of me."

Will positions himself above her. "Keep talking."

"I want to feel you inside me," she moans, and he enters her. She groans loudly, "I want you pounding into me. I want you to control me," In—and out. She gasps. "Will." His name is like a desperate whisper. It fuels him.

He takes it slow, watching her work up to her orgasm. The pleasurable agony is enough to make her scream for him. His name goes from being a whisper to a cry—"Will, please, Will—" Finally he launches into her, burying himself in her. She lets out a yell, and he can feel her contracting around him. "Oh my God!" she yells. She wriggles against the tie, trying to get free, but she can't. He bends over her, losing himself as well.

Nothing could ever be better than this.

(TRANSITION)

Alicia woke on Monday morning, strangely nauseous again. It hit her like a wave, and she stumbled quickly from her bed into the bathroom, emptying her stomach of what little contents were there.

It had been ages since the last time she was sick with the flu. How unusual.

In the back of her mind, she recalled waking up several mornings ago feeling sick. She couldn't recall the last time she'd felt like this, in fact. Not since…

No.

Still slumped over the toilet, Alicia pressed '3' on her speed dial. Will picked up quickly.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Hey," she murmurs weakly. "How are you feeling this morning, health-wise?" Her chest ached with hope that he would be sick, too.

"I'm feeling great—why? Are you okay?"

Alicia felt like the breath had been stolen from her lungs. Her hands began to shake, but she manages to sound okay when she says: "I'm just feeling a little flu-like. I'm sure it's nothing. I hope you don't get it."

"Me, either. Are you going to work today? Will I see you?"

Alicia smiles at the hope in his voice. "Yeah, I am. I should be at the courthouse—will you be there?"

"Yes. Also, I'm going to tell Diane about us today."

Momentarily, Alicia forgets about her panic… only replacing it with another kind of panic. "Oh. Okay. Do you… think that will be okay?"

"Yeah. Diane is usually good about this stuff."

"Right. Well, I'll tell Cary, too."

"Good. I'll see you this afternoon?"

"Yes."

(TRANSITION)

Alicia got to her office early, hoping no one would be around. The light in Cary's office was on, but he was preoccupied, so he didn't notice her slinking into the women's bathroom.

Alicia dug out the three pregnancy tests she'd bought on the way over to her office and peed on all three of them. She lined them up upside down on the counter, and then stared at herself in the mirror while she waited.

This is impossible. _I'm over forty years old_. If she was nauseous, she must be at the beginning of her second trimester or nearing the end of her first.

_How could I have been so irresponsible?_

If she was two to three months pregnant, the baby was Will's. That first time, in the parking garage, she hadn't had time to look for protection. But if she was three to four months pregnant, the baby was Peter's… and of course she hadn't used protection with her husband.

Alicia's stomach twists into an angry knot. How could this be happening? What would either of them say?

_Don't think about it yet. You aren't pregnant._

Alicia shut her eyes for the remaining three minutes, until her watch beeped at her. And then she turned all three over, one-by-one.

_I'm pregnant. _


	10. Panic

A/N: Okay, so, I know the past chapter has been a bit of a shock. I was very unsure about it, so much so that I erased it and re-did it twice. But finally, I have decided to keep the storyline going in the direction that I was originally planning. I hate getting bad reviews, so when I did, I quickly changed my plans… but I realized that I should not do that. It's my story. I can take it where I want it. If you don't like it, you can stop reading it. However, I wish you would all have a little trust in me… I am doing my best to make sure that even in surprising circumstances, Alicia and Will stay Alicia and Will. I promise that they will not lose character—Alicia will remain a badass lawyer, and Will will not get soft and daddy-like (if it is his baby). Have a little faith, please, and also don't be too mean on your comments (I do erase those because I'm a baby). Will may not be a softie, but I kind of am.

Hope you're ready for some Cary & Diane action!

CHAPTER 10

Will pulls a little on his jacket, slightly nervous. If there was one person he is just a tiny bit afraid of, it is Diane. Diane is one of the only women he respects completely and adores, without ever wanting to have sex with her. She is a powerful and incredible woman, and even though Will hasn't agreed with all of her decisions, he does respect her. He wants her to approve of this relationship.

He walks through the familiar hallways of Lockhart/Gardner, nodding at people as they look up at him. He finds confidence in his own power. The people here look up to him and respect him.

Diane is alone in her office. He opens the door and leans in, asking, "Do you have a minute?"

Diane looks up at him over her glasses, and slides her papers aside. "Sure. Come on in."

"I have something I need to tell you. As a friend, first, but also as a colleague."

"You're not getting investigated again, are you?" Diane's words are wry, but also full of caution.

"No. This is good news."

She searches him, but comes up with nothing. "Okay."

"As you heard several months ago… Alicia and Peter Florrick got a divorce."

"Yes…"

Will clears his throat. "Well, about that time, Alicia and I got back together." He can't help but smile weakly at her.

Diane is smiling a little, and raises an eyebrow. "Really. I must say, that surprises me a little, Will. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"For me or for our firm?"

She crosses her arms. "Both. But mostly for you."

Will approaches her desk and sits in one of the chairs in front of her. "Yes," he breathes. "I think it's the best decision I've made in a long time."

"I wasn't sure you two would ever make up."

"Yeah… We tried something called 'communication.'" Diane chuckles. "I know, it was a foreign concept to me as well. And for Alicia."

Diane studies him for a few more minutes, but then a wide smile breaks out on her face. "I am a little wary of this, Will, but of course I'm so glad that you are happy. You deserve it. And… you know I have always liked Alicia."

"Thank you."

"I think this calls for a drink, don't you? Will Gardner in a mature relationship… I never thought I'd see the day." She stands and approaches her large bottle of Scotch, pouring a little bit for both of them.

Will tries to think of a rebuttal, but all he can say is, "Yeah. Me either."

She hands him a glass. "Will," she says softly.

He looks up at her expectantly.

"Do you love her?"

Will swallows hard, surprised that she would ask him such a serious, personal question. "Yes. I do."

She smiles again. "I am so happy for you." They clink glasses, and both drink. "Look at us. I thought we would both die married to the law, but yet, here we are… falling in love like we're in our twenties."

Will smiles. "I think I like it."

"I think I like it, too."

(TRANSITION)

Alicia receives a text at 10:45 from Will: "I told her. Went well… tell you about it later."

_Shit._

She had forgotten all about telling Cary. After her doom had fallen upon her in the bathroom, she had quickly discarded of the pregnancy tests and thrown herself into the work that was piling up in her office. She was thankful for once that there was a lot to do, so that she could focus on that instead of her huge need to freak out.

How was she going to be able to talk to Will later today in court? How would she be able to talk to him again, ever?

The first step was finding out when she got pregnant. Then she could get over those panic attacks and move on to the second set of panic attacks: telling whichever father.

How was she going to be pregnant? She couldn't leave this new firm.

Part of her knew that if she was going to get pregnant, the best place was at Florrick/Agos. Here she could come in whenever she wanted. She knew that even during pregnancy she could put in a lot of hours. She could still pull her own weight, and Cary gave her as much independence as she wanted.

Alicia stopped thinking for a second and took a deep breath.

_How is this happening?_

Alicia pulls out a blank sheet of paper and writes down a list:

Tell Cary

Go to the doctor

Tell Will and/or Peter

Okay. She folds the list and puts it in her pocket, and organizes her desk quickly before heading down to Cary's office. Cary is on the phone, but he beckons her in.

She sits on the couch in his office and looks at their ugly floor. "That sounds great, Mr. Lakes. I'll see you this afternoon at three. Yes. Perfect. Okay, bye." Cary smiles as he talks, and Alicia can't help but feel just a little bit better at the sight of her friend.

"Just a second, Alicia," he says, scribbling something down. She waits patiently until he says, "Okay. What's up?"

"I have something I need to tell you, Cary."

"I'm pretty sure you should never start a conversation like that," he says, smiling his half-smile. "Is this about why you've been acting so weird lately?"

"I've been acting weird?"

"A little. You've just been happier than usual, is all. Not quite so angry at Lockhart/Gardner, or at your husband. I'm sorry that he comes up so often, by the way."

"Ex-husband."

"Right. Sorry, habit."

Alicia doesn't know how to approach it slowly. She's never been one to baby the people around her, so she just comes right out with it: "I'm dating Will."

Cary's lips form a thin line. "Will Gardner?"

"Yes."

He looks at her very calmly, folding his hands in front of him. "Okay. That's… a little complicated."

"I know. I come with a lot of baggage; I'm sorry."

His eyes drop and he fidgets with a few papers on his desk. "I'm seeing Kalinda, sort of. In the only way that Kalinda is capable of 'seeing someone,' I guess."

Alicia nods.

Cary sighs slightly. "Thanks for telling me."

"No problem. I think it's important for you to know. Because you're my partner, and it will bring drama, I'm sure, but also because you're my friend."

He nods. "Lawyers aren't so good at having friends, are they?"

"Not particularly."

"I've always thought Will was kind of an asshole, to be honest. Is he good to you?"

"Yes. He's very good to me."

Cary's somewhat uncomfortable we're-being-vulnerable smile turns into a frown. "Then why are you acting like someone you know is dying?"

Alicia is beyond surprised that he noticed. Before she knows what she's doing, she's blurting it out: "Because I'm pregnant."

The silence expands between them like I balloon. It presses against Alicia's skin, and then wraps itself around her as if it will suffocate her. As soon as she says it she regrets it, but she is desperate to tell someone. Anyone. Anyone who won't freak out the way that she is freaking out. She hates losing control—she _never _loses control—but today she feels like she is outside of her body, watching a small, terrified version of herself fall into a strong grip of terror and bad decisions.

Cary composes himself and then says, "Are you going to tell him?"

Alicia swallows hard. "That's the problem," she whispers.

Cary's eyes widen. "Wow. Uh… _wow. _What is this, our freshman year of college?"

Alicia looks away, clamping her jaw. _Ouch_. But he was right.

"I'm sorry," Cary says hastily. "That was a low blow. I'm just… extremely surprised. I never thought you would be someone who would…"

"No shit," Alicia snaps. "I wouldn't be someone who would do this. I made a mistake. One screw-up, and now who knows what kind of mess I've made."

"Okay, seriously—I'm sorry I said that. You were in a really unique situation, Alicia, and you're right, we all make mistakes. Just… take this one day at a time, okay? Go right now—go find out who the father is. However you do that. Take a day off, think about things. It's going to work out."

Alicia feels nauseous again, but she doesn't know if it's the baby, or if it's her self-hatred trying to punish her. "Okay. Thanks, Cary. I'll do this instead of lunch, and I'll be ready to go to court at 2 today, like I said I would be."

"No problem," Cary says. He smiles warmly and sympathetically at her, surprising her with his empathy.

She takes a deep breath, and exits his office.


	11. A Little Change

A/N: I have a week till classes start, so I will be wrapping this up within the next couple of chapters!

SaliciousNothing—you're right, thanks!

Marcella—it's okay! I appreciate your honesty. To you and the rest of the people who don't like the pregnancy story line, why don't you like it? For me, I just don't like the possibility of Will getting all mushy-gushy, but if there are other things you all don't like, let me know and I will try to avoid them. But I don't plan on turning this into a family story in the typical sense. Also, for the record, I have only read one other Will/Alicia fanfic (that had nothing to do with pregnancy) so I wasn't aware it was so overused. I'm not a big reader of fanfiction… I mostly just write it. I will try to continue being unique!

CHAPTER 11

The white walls of the doctor's office seemed to be pressing against Alicia's eye sockets, even when she closed her eyes. Everything in this room was oppressive, from the "What does your baby look like now?" poster, to the industrial-like silver clock, to the stiff, small chair she was sitting in. She couldn't breathe. Everything in here felt sterile, but still not pure enough to fill the ache in her lungs.

She tries to calm her racing thoughts, but nothing can still her mind. Nothing can banish the images of a toddler with Peter's face, running around, calling him Daddy and forcing them to get back together.

_Just because you have his child doesn't mean you have to get back together with him, _she reminds herself shakily. She's done doing the "morally correct" thing—getting back together with Peter would never be right for _her._

There is a sharp knock on the door, and her OB-GYN enters the room. She is a kind woman who is doctor to many famous people; Alicia chose her because she knew that she would be discreet. She wouldn't have to worry about her doctor letting anything slip to reporters—or to Peter.

"Okay, Mrs. Florrick—"

"Just Alicia, please," Alicia says, shuddering at the use of her last name. She had kept it because of the firm, but it was frustrating when people hadn't heard of the divorce. She hated being The Governor's Wife wherever she went.

"Alicia. What an exciting day for you, huh?" The doctor was younger than Alicia—probably early thirties. She had her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and her kind eyes were smiling at Alicia, despite how obviously distressed she was.

"Yeah, exciting," Alicia murmurs. "Tell me… the details, please."

"The baby looks absolutely healthy. Still very small… you're only about two months pregnant."

"Oh my God." Alicia exhales deeply. _Two months. _The baby is Will's.

Her doctor takes the chair next to her, grabbing Alicia's hands. "Congratulations, Alicia," she says, although with less enthusiasm than before. She can sense Alicia's hesitations.

Alicia nods at her, just processing this news.

"You didn't mean to get pregnant?" The doctor asks.

"No." Alicia's voice is weak.

"It's okay. It happens more often than you think."

Alicia drops her head. "I feel like such a fool."

"An abortion is still an option at this point. You can also put it up for adoption, although I know that won't save you from the publicity. You have options, Alicia. It's up to you." The doctor pats Alicia's hands gently, and then departs from the room. Alicia sits, mulling over these options, and then stands. She takes a deep breath.

(TRANSITION)

Alicia is eternally grateful that in court today she is not facing Will, or anyone else at Lockhart/Gardner. She is on a small case, one that Florrick/Agos has an obligation to but isn't ever really too excited about, and the prosecution has hired some third-rate lawyer who nearly shakes every time Alicia looks at him.

All it takes is a few well-placed "Objection!"s before he is stumbling over his words and the judge is saying, "Move it along, counselor; I have dinner plans."

She is thankful to have the distraction of court to clear her head. If there's one thing she's sure she's good at, it's being a lawyer. Besides being a mother, being a lawyer was what fulfilled her most in life. She lives and breathes justice. Winning a good case was almost better than sex—_almost. _Within an hour of feeling, smelling, and seeing the courtroom, Alicia felt normal again. Felt like maybe she could do this. She would tell Will when she saw him, and they would decide what to do together.

The lawyer she's intimidated the shit out of finally stands abruptly and says, "Your honor, the prosecution requests a recess to consult our client."

Alicia grins inwardly. _Sounds like it's time to settle_, she thinks.

The judge rolls his eyes a little more obviously than Alicia would have expected. Judges hate new and incompetent lawyers too; they make everything run more slowly.

"You have an hour," he says.

Alicia stacks up her files and leans over to her client, a middle-aged stockbroker. "Go get some lunch. I'm expecting they'll want to settle soon, so keep your phone on you. I'll call you when we get something."

He nods and leaves the table. Alicia walks confidently from the room, although the anxiety still builds in her stomach.

She checks her phone outside the courtroom. Twenty minutes ago Will texted her—"I need you. Hotel across the street. Room 213."

Alicia feels delight swell in her chest. She looks at the people around her, expecting them to know that she just received a daytime booty-call. However, the people leaving the courtroom look just as tired and irritated as they always do. She is the only one beaming like a teenager.

She rushes across the street, finding the room easily. She knocks on the door, and Will answers immediately. Alicia loses her thoughts in the look of desire on his face. His eyebrows are drawn together, his dark eyes cloudy with longing. "What took you so long?" he growls, pulling her in by her suit jacket.

He unbuttons her top quickly, tearing it off. His mouth meets her neck, and Alicia is gone. So gone.

"Talking to Diane went well?" Alicia asks breathily.

"Yes! Very well." He slips off her skirt. "I was surprised. But then again, you always have a way of twisting people around your finger—including Diane."

He slips a finger under her panties, reaching up into her. Alicia gasps, surprised by how aggressive he is being. She loves it. She needs it. Everything has been scary and uncertain for too long—she just needs him.

"And Cary?" he whispers the question into her neck, and she shivers. How can she formulate an answer at a time like this?"

"Yeah," Alicia moans.

Will laughs into her neck, still drawing his finger in and out of her. He inserts two more, stretching her, making her weak. They have not moved past the entryway. Alicia isn't even sure if he closed the door.

"I mean… he was… unsure. But okay." Alicia forces the words out, only about 50% sure of what she was saying.

"You seem to be incapable of proper speech," Will says, leaving her neck and looking at her face. Alicia's lips quiver, and when her eyes meet Will's, she can feel the passion igniting in the deepest parts of her body.

"I… yes," Alicia says, giggling. Will suddenly withdraws his fingers from her, and then scoops her up off the ground.

Then they are on the bed, and he slides her panties off with no effort. Her bra is next, and he is kissing her, hard. His tongue reaches for hers, and she obliges. His mouth is hot against hers, and when she parts her lips she feels the warmth down through her body. He presses against her, the whole weight of him on her, reaching, yearning for her. Alicia claws at his back, always wanting him closer.

His hands are in her hair, on her neck, on her breasts, everywhere. They are both panting fervently, aching for each other.

After several minutes of this, Will gets up, unbuckling his belt. He doesn't bother with his shirt, and Alicia is glad he doesn't—the space between them suddenly feels unyielding and massive.

Then he's back on top of her, and back inside her, thrusting mercilessly. There is no time or patience for gathering momentum—he pounds into her, and they are both yelling each other's names. Alicia grasps the sheets beside her, closing her eyes and drinking in the smell of Will, the sound of his cries, and the feeling of his hardness inside her body.

Will's hands are wound into Alicia's hair, pulling it slightly as he rides her. She barely notices the pain, too completely consumed by the pleasure of his body on hers.

Will moans loudly, and Alicia knows he's reaching his release. Just the knowledge that she does this to him makes her own release come faster.

They crumble together, and Alicia thinks, _I'll tell him later. _


	12. Oh, Brother

A/N: Thanks everyone for your continued honesty & support. I understand everyone's feelings on the topic. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please keep reviewing!

CHAPTER 12

"So, have you told him yet?"

Cary stood in Alicia's doorway and spoke this question just a little too loudly for her to feel comfortable about it.

"Cary!" She hisses. "No. I haven't."

Cary smirks at her, in the most friendly way possible. "C'mon, 'Licia. He needs to know!"

Alicia looks down at her desk. "I know he does. It's just… we're in a bit of a 'honeymoon phase' right now, and I don't want that to be over."

Cary nods, understanding. "Yeah. I wouldn't want the sex to end, either."

Alicia frowns at him. Cary is young and rather outward about things like this, but she is not. She sees the humor dancing in his eyes, however, and smiles back. "Whatever. I'm going to tell him soon. Hopefully this week."

"Don't you spend the weekends with him? Tell him tomorrow."

"I can't. My brother is coming over tonight and staying until Sunday. I'm having lunch with both of them tomorrow, but obviously I can't tell him with Owen there."

Cary laughs. "Well, you could."

"No, Cary."

They both ponder this scary idea for a minute, and Cary continues laughing, but Alicia just shudders away from the idea.

Suddenly Cary's face turns serious. "You don't need to worry about it, Alicia. I watched him staring at you for years—he's completely in love with you. He'll fall in love with the idea of your face on his kid, too. The kid will be disgustingly adorable, and you two will work it out."

Alicia is startled by his abrupt and sincere comments. "Thanks." He shrugs. "No, Cary, really. Thanks."

He gives her a boyish grin and waves as he exits her office.

(TRANSITION)

Alicia leans on a counter in her kitchen, sipping a glass of flavored water. She looks out her window at the darkness, trying not to think.

The fact that Owen is coming comforts her. He always knows what to do. It amazes her how well he always seems to know her heart. Even when she is afraid to speak it, he is not—of course he isn't. Owen isn't afraid of much, besides, perhaps… his own heart.

Hmm. That sounds familiar.

Alicia wanders her house, leafing through old books and wiping little smudges off of her mirrors. It feels so lonely without Grace and Zach being around. They are the most important people in her life, no matter how much she loves Will. When they are gone she can feel the little piece of herself go along with them. They are great kids. No matter how bad of a husband Peter was, he was a good father.

Could Will be a good father?

Alicia has tried so hard not to imagine what Will's reaction will be. She's not even sure what her own reaction is. All she knows is that she's tired of the fighting. She doesn't want them to have to fight anymore.

There is a knock on the door, and Alicia wanders over to get it. She opens it and Owen's friendly face greets her. "Alicia!" he hums, stepping in and embracing her. She loses herself in his friendly, always-loyal hug.

"I'm so glad to see you," she says softly.

"Me, too. It's time to fill me in on all the dirt. I know you have some, miss-newly-divorced."

Alicia swallows, thinking, _You have no idea. _Owen releases her and looks at her glass of water. "What's this? Given up drinking, have we?"

Alicia smirks, attempting to go along with his joke, and thankfully he doesn't notice. He lugs his bag in—big for a long weekend, but typical of Owen—and plops them in the foyer. "Hope you don't mind if _I _haven't given up on drinking."

He lets himself into the kitchen and inspects the wines in her wine cabinet. It doesn't take him long to pick one, and then he is pouring himself a glass. He leaves the bottle on the table and says, "C'mon, tell me everything. What's happening?"

He grabs her at the wrist and pulls her into her living room, where they both sink into her overstuffed sofa. Alicia looks at him, trying to keep her face neutral, but as usual, Owen can see right through her. His face softens as he prepares to listen. "Owen," she says breathlessly, "There's kind of a lot that's happening."

"Okay." His thick voice is soothing.

"Will and I are together. We have been since about a week after I divorced Peter. We've been doing well… really well, I think. He told me that he loves me." Alicia's aching heart softens a little at the thought of Will's lips saying those three words. It was something she hadn't expected to ever hear. Owen smiles, but he senses that this isn't it, so he doesn't say anything. "I even told Grace and Zach, and they took it so well. And Peter… he didn't take it quite as well, but I'm sure he's dealing with it."

Owen scoffs and mutters something that sounds like "_Asshole_."

"But I messed up. The first time Will and I… were together, we didn't use protection." She swallows nervously. "Owen. I'm pregnant."

Owen's mouth drops and forms into an _O_. He looks at her for a long time, searching her eyes, and processing the information. "Alicia," he whispers. "Shit." His eyes are worried but compassionate, and he pulls her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her. Although nothing could compare to Will's strong, earnest embrace, Owen was a great hugger. He is soft and warm, and Alicia was grateful that he was hugging her.

"How are you feeling about it?" He asks finally.

"I'm not sure. I just keep thinking about what he'll feel about it."

Owen nods, but says: "Don't think about that for a second. Think about you. Think about having another baby."

Alicia closes her eyes in another attempt to clear her head. Her mind fills with images of Zach and Grace as children.

_I'm a good mother_, she thinks. She remembers playing with Zach and Grace, and those memories fill her heart with joy. She remembers loving how Zach's know-it-all attitude was just like Peter, and how Grace's calm determination came from her. She remembers loving the mix, back when she loved Peter—seeing the pieces of him in both Zach and Grace.

She pictures a baby that looks like Will. A boy. He has deep brown eyes and a very round face. Will would want to teach him about baseball when he was older. She thinks about holding a child close to her that reminds her of Will.

Then she pictures waking up in the middle of the night, sleeping next to Will. That part is good, but then the baby is crying. Will mutters about it being her turn, just like he has for the past three nights. She wonders if he even cares about these parts—if he only wants to see the good things about his child.

Her mind argues against this picture, instead thinking of Will sitting in a rocking chair. He's wearing a blue Georgetown hoodie, with his baby curled up against his chest. The baby looks soft in comparison to Will's strong shoulders and rough jawline. Will looks up at her, and the love she sees in his eyes is for both her and for the baby. The baby is sleeping and he says, "It took me so long to get him to fall asleep." Alicia can see the determination in his eyes. It's the same he uses in the courtroom, but it's directed at his baby. He's determined to be a good dad just like he's determined to be a good lawyer. She looks around at the imaginary baby room and sees tiny baseball onesies laying on the floor, and signed baseball bats, and everything is blue. It warms her.

Alicia pulls herself from her imagination and sighs heavily. "It sounds like a lot of work," she says honestly. "But I made this mistake, and I have to live with it. I know that I can love this child unconditionally, just like I did Grace and Zach. I'm a good mother."

"Hell yeah, you are," Owen agrees.

"I'm also a good lawyer," Alicia says. "I love being a lawyer. I don't want to give that up." Her voice cracks, and she can feel the passionate honesty in that statement.

"Then don't," Owen says easily. "Haven't you ever heard of daycare?"

She nods hesitantly. "I'm not sure about daycare. If I would be okay with that. But I do know that I couldn't give up being a lawyer. I know there are alternatives… I could find a nanny, or something like that."

Owen just nods in agreement.

"I'm terrified to tell him," Alicia whispers. "I'm afraid he'll be angry."

"It's half his fault," he points out.

"No one ever sees it that way."

Owen shrugs, as if to resign. She's right. "If he loves you, he'll come around. I think you might be underestimating him."

"Maybe." She hopes so.

"Anyway, enough of the serious stuff—how is he in bed?"

"Owen!" Alicia hisses, but it does the trick: she smiles and laughs. "I can't tell you that!"

"On a scale of 1-to-you can almost orgasm when you think about it? Just tell me that!"

She laughs shakily. "No! It's good, okay? Really good."

"Better than with Peter?"

She smacks him, but not hard. "Why are you asking that?!"

"Because I hate Peter, and I look for any chance to humiliate him."

"Yes, better than Peter."

Owen smiles. "Your face gets a little pink when you talk about this. It's not quite a blush, but about as close as it gets for you. I love what he does to you, Alicia."

Alicia smirks, but says nothing.

"Stop it! You're fucking gorgeous! You have killer legs and amazing eyes, and I hated it when you were celibate for that prick. He didn't deserve you even when he _was _faithful to you. Will, on the other hand… God, he's dreamy…"

"_Dreamy_? What are you, a seventh-grade girl?"

He glares at her playfully.

(TRANSITION)

Will waves at Alicia and her brother as they enter the restaurant. They see him, and both of them light up. He smiles inwardly. He's always liked Alicia's brother, even though he was a little too crazy and, well, _gay _for Will's taste—but he did love Alicia deeply and was always looking out for her best.

Will wasn't one to get nervous often, but he was a little nervous for this. It's the first time that he has seen Owen since he and Alicia started dating officially, and although he knew that Owen liked him, he also knows that he's going to get the inspection today. If he still has Owen's approval, it will go far for him.

Alicia greets him with a light kiss, and Owen makes faces behind her back. "Hello, William," he says playfully, and shakes Will's hand.

"Hello, Owen," Will greets in return, albeit not as playfully.

They all sit, and Alicia says, "I'm going to apologize in advance for his mouth. He's in rare form this weekend." She winks at Owen, and he rolls his eyes.

"This is my job, you understand," Owen says to Will. "I have to ask all the questions that Alicia is afraid to ask. For such a strong, confident woman, she can still be quite secretive."

Will knows. He knows because he too is not one to reveal his feelings easily. He likes that about Alicia. When she does express her feelings, it's important.

Will raises his glass to his mouth right as Owen asks, "So Will, you aren't planning to become a slimy, adulterous asshole, are you?" He chokes a little on his water, and sets the glass back down on the table as calmly as he can.

"No, I'm not."

"Perfect. Alicia and I don't like people like that on principle, anymore."

"Good to know." Will watches Alicia's lips upturn slightly at the sides, and he knows that although she is uncomfortable, she appreciates Owen's interrogation of him. Owen has a good heart.

"What exactly are your intentions with my sister, then?"

What a question. Will didn't have an answer—certainly not an Alicia-approved answer. "We've only been together a few months," Will says carefully. "At this point we're just working through a lot of things. Learning how to be a couple. Enjoying each other."

"Oh yeah, she told me all about that," Owen teases. Alicia throws him a "shut the hell up" look. "Anyway—I'm sure you two have had to work through a lot of things. Like how pissed you were for leaving your firm. How's that going?"

Alicia doesn't look at Will, but Owen is looking very intently at him. "There's no issue there anymore. Alicia is her own person. I understand her reasonings for leaving the firm, and although it was… painful… I do think it was for the best."

Owen nods. "Interesting."

The waitress approaches them, and they all order. Will watches Alicia order, a little more quietly than normal. There is something off about her, but he can't place what. She's slightly more flushed than normal, which he doesn't mind—it makes her look even more beautiful.

He orders for himself, and those thoughts vanish.

(TRANSITION)

Alicia's hands quiver as she rides the elevator up to Will's floor. Her mind is surprisingly blank. She has accepted what she must do, and what has happened to her. What has happened to _them. _

She walks calmly to his door, placing her feet carefully one in front of the other. She knocks, and hears him stir from inside.

"Hi," he says as he answers. He looks unusually boyish tonight. He's clearly in a great mood, and Alicia's stomach flip-flops at the thougtht of ruining it. He pulls her in to him and kisses her easily, taking her breath away.

"It was so hard to see you at lunch yesterday without touching you," he purrs, easing his hand up under her blouse. His warms fingers slide across her abdomen, and back around to the small over her back. He kisses her again, deeply, passionately.

Alicia breaks off the kiss. She can't get too lost in this, or she won't tell him tonight. She has to tell him tonight. "I have to tell you something, Will," she says. "I think you should sit down."

Will raises a thick eyebrow. "That's never a good sign," he says, and his face has turned stony. He shuts the door behind her, and they travel to the couch.

Alicia has planned what to say to him for so long. She has even written it out a couple of times. She has no idea what could ease the blow. What could help him to see it in a better light than _your life is about to change. _Has Will ever wanted kids? She has no idea. She'd never thought to ask.

"I don't really know how to say this," Alicia says shakily.

"Don't dance around it." Will's serious voice is both sexy and terrifying. No matter how many times she'd yelled at him in the past, in court or in private, he always intimidated her.

"I'm pregnant." The words were out before she could choke on them. She is afraid, but she watches Will's face.

He is a hard read. His face seems completely blank, but she can see the wheels turning behind his eyes. He threads his hands together, and looks away from her. She has no idea what he's thinking.

Is he going to leave her? The idea renders Alicia without breath.

He stands and paces behind the couch. He mutters to himself a little bit, and then he suddenly picks up a lamp and smashes it on the floor. Alicia jumps, always so caught off-guard by his outbursts of anger.

"Dammit!" Will shouts, pacing again.

"Will," Alicia says, suddenly more strong again. "I'm sorry. We made a mistake. But we can work through this, just—tell me what you're thinking, please."

Will looks at her, and his eyes are crazy. He looks as if he's about to hit something again, so Alicia crosses the room and puts her hands over his hands. She kisses him lightly, even though his lips are pursed and tight. He softens slightly, kissing her back, but she quickly feels his lack of enthusiasm. She just looks at him again, watching his eyes think.

Her hands stay on his, and he opens his to close them back around hers. "I don't want to fight about this," Alicia says softly. "And I don't want to lose you ever again."

Will nods. "I don't want to lose you either."

Alicia hugs him, for once being the one to initiate it. She can feel him shaking slightly—he is scared, too. Maybe more terrified than he has ever been. He wraps his arms around her too, and they stand like this for several minutes.

Finally Will steps back, and looks into her eyes. He looks sad, but she can't be sure. "I need some time to think about this, alone. I don't want to fight, either, but… I need to think. I'll call you as soon as I can, okay?"

Alicia feels sad and distant from him, but she understands. She thought about it for weeks before she told him. "Okay." She kisses him softly on the cheek, and then shows herself out of his apartment.


	13. Reconcile

A/N: I was going to draw out all the conflict here, but I decided not to, because let's be honest… All of us AW shippers have had way too much conflict lately. It's time for some more loove.

CHAPTER 13

It's two days before Will calls. When he finally does, it's late. Alicia has just slipped into her flannel pajama bottoms and her tank-top, completely ready for bed. Her phone vibrates on her end table, and she feels a nervous thrill when she sees "Will" on the caller ID.

"Will?" she answers.

"Can I come over?" His voice is hurried and determined.

"Um…" Alicia looks at her alarm clock. It's after midnight. _Of course he can! _Never mind that the kids are asleep in their rooms. "Yes. I'll come out to the hallway… the kids are home." The last thing she needs is Zach or Grace overhearing that she's pregnant.

"See you in two."

Two minutes? He must be outside her building already! Alicia grabs a robe and wraps it around herself. She steps out from her bed, feeling the plush carpet on her toes. It's chilly in her apartment from leaving the windows open all day. She shivers slightly, but only half of the shiver is from the cold.

She pads through her house and out to the hallway, closing the door carefully and quietly behind her. She watches the elevator down the hall, her mind racing. Was it a good sign that he wanted to come over here so late?

The elevator dings and Will steps out. He is wearing his workout clothes—black, sleek sweatpants and a dark gray t-shirt. He looks good—a little too good. Alicia has trouble concentrating on his face as he approaches her, distracted by the muscles in his arms and abs, so easily seen in this outfit.

"Alicia, I—I don't know where to start. My mind has been racing. I just—was going crazy without seeing you these past few days, so I want to talk about it, I guess. Is that—are you okay with that?"

Alicia nods. A wave of calm comes over her. He's scared. That much is obvious… but she can see that he is also trying. For Will to try at a relationship was huge… probably bigger that Alicia even realized, but from how easily he has abandoned his past relationships when they have gotten a little rocky…

"I'm… I'm scared out of my mind here, Leesh. I know people my age are supposed to want to have children, but I never did. I mean, occasionally, I thought about it, but… I'm not sure I could be any good at it. I might be fucking _horrible _at it. Seriously, I've held my sister's babies for about five minutes at a time before I have to give them back because they smell weird and I'm afraid they'll puke on me. And I like expensive things. Things that can't be puked on because they can't be washed. I like wood. Hard wood. Not squishy, baby-proof things. I getting sleep, and watching whatever the hell I want to, and—" He stops. "You get the point. I might not be cut out for this."

Alicia holds her breath, hoping like hell that there's a _but _coming.

She watches as his jaw clenches and unclenches. And those eyebrows. God, those eyebrows. "But… you." He shrugs, and that rare emotion called _vulnerability _appears in his eyes once more. He chokes on his words: "You are _it _for me. Now that I have you, I can't imagine losing you. Nothing can ever be big enough for me to walk away from you again. I've made that mistake too many times. I know there's no getting over you for me, Alicia. I'm yours, completely. And you may not want me a year from now, when this thing is crawling around, because I may really suck at this. But I hope you do. Because I love you, and I know that if this baby looks _anything _like you… If it has _half _the attitude you have… If it has your eyes." He shakes his head. "It would be impossible for me to _not _love it."

Alicia's tears catch her off-guard. Before she can think she is closing the space between them, wrapping her arms around his slightly sweaty body and squeezing. Will sighs into her and wraps his arms around her, too. She marvels at his strong chest, lost in a girlish daydream of how good he smells, how good he feels, how strong he is.

"I'm scared, too," she says.

Will strokes her hair for a few moments, and then he growls playfully, "You better not get tired, or anything like that. I will still require hot sex every night and possibly several times a day."

Alicia laughs and airy laugh. "We have hot sex?"

"Anything that involves you is hot."

"Grace and Zach are sleeping."

Will pauses. "What are you saying?"

"We have to be quiet."

Will releases her, but his face remains close to hers. His nose almost touches her nose. "I'm not sure you're capable of that. Especially with all the things I want to do to you."

She grins. "You doubt me."

He raises an eyebrow. "Maybe."

Will glances around the hallway, and looks back at her, smiling widely. "Will—here?" Alicia gasps, half shy and half excited.

Will walks her to the wall behind her. The look on his face is playful and mischievous. She doesn't mind.

When he kisses her, it seems urgent at first. But then he is lost, and she is too, in exactly how much love they both feel for each other. Alicia can feel it in the way his lips soften, in how his hand cups her chin, in how he breathes slightly into her. She feels her hands wrap themselves around his neck, and they mold to each other. Before she knows it she has faded into him, completely aroused and unaware of the dim hallway around them.

Will slips off her robe, smiling when he sees her in her pajamas. "You are so sexy," he purrs, pressing his lips to her collarbone. Alicia clings harder to his neck, hating it and loving it that she has to stand on her own accord.

He drops her shorts easily to the ground and she steps out of them. He crouches and kisses her pelvis softly, teasing her. She groans, her arousal increasing from her nervousness about her exposure in the hallway.

He yanks his pants down and easily hoists her up onto him, pressing her into the wall behind her. He slides into her easily, marveling at how quickly they are ready for each other.

Alicia makes a point to not fade into this, but to open her eyes and seek his. He is studying her, as he always is, his eyebrows crinkling as he pushes into her. She can see the passion written all over his face, and she kisses him, lightly, breathily.

He goes slowly, almost too slow. Each time he thrusts into her he fills her more deeply, and she feels raw inside. Everything about her is coming undone for this man. His lips find her neck and she is gone again, dissolving into him, yearning for every part of herself to be touching him.

He speeds up, still not going very quickly, and she begins to rock with him. Tonight has left both of them feeling emotionally raw in the best kind of way, and it has made sex feel so different. Better. It feels as if the layers of fear have been stripped away—the commitment is there. Finally, they belong to each other in every way. It's not just about the sex for either of them, although the sex is fantastic.

It's about the talking. It's about being afraid, but being afraid together. It's about knowing that they love each other without totally knowing how everything will work out—just knowing that it _will._

Will groans heavily into Alicia and comes inside of her. Alicia crumbles more slowly, but also more intensely, right after he does. She clutches him, clawing at his shirt, aching for him to never let her go.

They stay in this position for so long—leaning against the wall, with him inside of her. He kisses her neck lightly and murmurs, "That was incredible."

Alicia squeezes him tighter in response.

"Come inside with me," she murmurs.

"Zach and Grace?"

"They know we're together. They'll be okay with it. I don't want you to leave me tonight."

Will sets her down and they both dress before Alicia grabs his hand and leads her inside her apartment. It is dark and quiet, as she left it. She is surprised, because so much seems different for her.

They enter her room and Alicia curls up on her side of the bed. Will conforms himself to her, wrapping a strong arm around her. They both fall into a deep sleep very easily, warm in each other's embrace.


	14. Epilogue

A/N: We have reached the end, folks! I hope you have enjoyed the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Although I am positive this is not the way that The Good Wife will ACTUALLY end, I am so hoping that Will and Alicia do get together again for good! This has just been a fun little fantasy to write about. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it has been fun to hear from other AW shippers.

EPILOGUE

1 YEAR AND 7 MONTHS LATER

Alicia exits the courtroom on a brisk fall Saturday, breathing in the victory of her last case. It was a hard-won battle against Celeste Serrano. Although Celesta is a fantastic lawyer, the real pleasure in winning came from the fact that she is a past lover of Will's. Celeste still loves to jeer Alicia, despite the fact that Will is as devoted to her as ever.

The day is sunny and clear, and Alicia is heading home for her son's first birthday party. She checks her watch; it's 3:00 already. The party is supposed to start at 3:30, and everyone important in she and Will's wife will be there.

A female voice sounds next to her. "Big celebratory plans tonight?" It's Celeste.

Alicia doesn't look at her. She just says, "I guess you could say that."

"That was a good job back there. It always takes me a bit to remember that you're actually a good lawyer, and not just some mommy that Will hired because he wanted to sleep with her."

Alicia rolls her eyes. "Gee, thanks."

"Of course, Will has always preferred more assertive women."

Again, Alicia says nothing.

"Anyway. I heard you two had a kid together, right?" Alicia looks at her, expecting some sort of slam. Not everyone was receptive to this fact. She couldn't blame those people. Celeste's eyes are void of the usual mischief. "Congratulations. And I mean that. Will's really changed—really grown up. I think you're good for each other."

Alicia smiles. "Thank you."

"You are a woman of few words, Alicia." She reaches out a hand. "Always good to see you in court. I'll be better next time."

Alicia shakes her hand, and watches as the pretty woman wanders away to find her car. She follows shortly after, finding her own car and speeding most of the way home. It's an exciting day. It has taken quite a bit of time to get to this place: a place where all of her family and loved ones could be together, and could be okay with this new reality of Alicia, Will, and their baby.

Grace was the best with it. Both she and Zach were a little wary about the whole thing at first, but as soon as the baby was born, Grace was hooked. She cared for that child almost more than Alicia did. Alicia never had to worry about anything, because Grace was on top of it before Alicia could set down whatever she was working on.

It took Zach a little longer. For a while he stayed at his dad's most weekends, especially when they were undergoing the process of Will moving in. He warmed up to the whole idea too, though, especially when the baby started crawling and reaching for him.

Peter, admittedly, took it the hardest. After throwing many obscenities Alicia's way, he easily withdrew himself from her life altogether. He hadn't spoken to her since the baby had been born, and Alicia didn't mind that. As long as he wasn't taking it out on Zach or Grace, he could feel however he wanted to about she and Will.

Alicia reaches her door and lets herself in. The kitchen has been decorated with ribbons and balloons, and all the food is already set out. Grace is carefully adjusting a big "1" candle on top of the cake that is probably much too large. "Hi, Mom," she says, not looking at Alicia as she comes in. Alicia sets down her things and comes behind Grace, pulling her hair back behind her ears. Grace has recently cut her hair in preparation for college. According to her, "everyone cuts their hair before they leave for school." Alicia has a sneaking suspicion that she won't actually leave for school. She seems to be loving being at home a little too much for right now. That's completely fine with her—she was thrilled when Zach decided to stay at home in order to save some money.

"Thanks for getting all of this ready," Alicia says to her.

"No problem. Will and Zach are in the living room, playing that stupid game." She rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"Okay." Alicia pecks Grace on the cheek and leaves her to mess with the candle.

Seeing Will with Zach is something that Alicia has yet to get used to. Every time is thrills her and warms her to see how well they get along. Where Peter was busy and absent even when he was around, Will is present. He's funny. He takes Zach seriously and wants to know his opinion on every current issue. Being around them is like being with a college debate team. It's never boring. They sit now on opposite ends of the couch, both hunched over X-Box controllers.

"Those damn snipers kill me every time!" Will exclaims, as his screen is washed with red.

"Yeah, I know," Zach says. "It's pathetic."

Alicia reaches around and kisses Will lightly on the neck. "Well hello," Will says thickly, looking over at her. He kisses her back, and Zach glances over at them. "That's disgusting," he says. "Get a room."

They both laugh. "He's asleep in his room," Will says. "We should probably get him up soon, hm?"

"Yeah. I'll do it."

"I'll help." Will tosses the controller in Zach's direction, and Zach doesn't look away from the game. Will makes a face like "teenagers" and Alicia grins at him.

"Grace, will you get the dip ready when you're done with that?" Alicia asks.

"Sure thing!"

Alicia heads towards the baby's room with Will in tow. They open the door slowly, peeking in at the little boy.

He is sound asleep in his bed, sucking his thumb. His brown hair is sticking up all over the place, and his eyes twitch with dreams. Alicia runs her hand along his chunky cheeks, and Will watches behind her.

"Maybe we could let him sleep for a few more minutes," Will says.

"He does look peaceful."

"Besides," Will continues, "I haven't seen you all day. And you look hot in your suits. Plus, I heard you won against Celeste. I think you've earned a little reward for that." He snakes a hand around her waist, and Alicia smiles at him.

"What did you have in mind?"

Will pulls her from the room, and they glance sneakily at both of the kids before disappearing into their own room. The space has changed quite a bit since Will has moved in. Alicia forced herself to find time for pictures: they had some pictures taken and she hung them up around the room. She bought a bigger dresser. The walls were darker, a more seductive color.

Alicia giggles as Will throws her onto the bed, but quiets the noises she wants to make, for obvious reasons. Will kisses her at the base of her throat, licking lightly up her neck.

A sharp knock startles them, and they can hear Grace call through the door, "Mom! I can't find the garlic salt!"

Alicia giggles softly under Will, and he smiles, pressing his lips to her neck. "Okay, Grace! Just give me—"

"Two minutes," Will purrs softly. Alicia can hear the amusement in his voice.

"Just give me two minutes, and I'll be out!"

They both listen as Grace lightly pads away. Alicia laughs silently, shaking under Will's body. "This is awful," she murmurs.

"No it isn't. They'll never know."

Before Alicia can continue to argue, Will grasps the inside of her thigh. His thumb flicks across her _there _oh-so-slightly. Alicia can barely feel it, but she knows he's _this _close. She wraps her arms around him and digs her fingers into the navy-blue t-shirt that he's wearing. God, can this man look bad in anything? She tilts her head back, lost again, as she is every time he touches her.

His fingers are in her quickly—they don't have much time. _So this is my "reward," _Alicia thinks gleefully. Will probes her faster, making her squirm under him. He breathes heavily on her neck, whispering, "Come for me, baby," and other things that quickly make her insides turn to play-dough.

Alicia can feel it building within her, and so quickly. The excitement of how quick they must be is a turn-on for her. Will's fingers wriggle inside of her, and he presses his thumb against her clit, circling around it. Alicia moans and arches her back against him, until suddenly, she shatters into a million pieces around him.

Will unbuckles his belt, and before she has even finished her orgasm, he has slipped inside of her. He grabs her head firmly, holding her against him, and rides her mercilessly. Alicia bites her lip, using all of her power to hold in the things she would like to scream out.

"Ohh," Will sighs into her ear, pressing against her. He bites her ear softly, and a small squeak escapes Alicia's lips.

Alicia clings tightly to him, squeezing her eyes shut, feeling his skin against her skin. She grabs his ass, pulling him into her, and he groans primitively on top of her.

He comes, and she is not far away, and they lay on the bed, holding each other close. "Fuck," Will says. "Two minutes."

Alicia laughs, and he kisses her deeply. For a few moments they stay like this, lips pressed together, holding each other. Alicia falls into her feelings of adoration for him, and she can feel his passion for her in the way he is clutching her tightly, in the way his mouth moves, in the moan that is just behind his lips.

He gets off of her and buckles his pants. Alicia stands and brushes herself off, and then pulls off her clothes to change. She puts on jeans and a red blouse—her wardrobe contains much more red lately, as it is Will's favorite color on her.

"Why are all these people coming over?" Will says playfully. "I want you all to myself."

Alicia rolls her eyes, smiling, but says nothing. Will leaves her to get dressed, and Alicia checks herself in the mirror. She is a little too flushed. She waves a hand at her face, cooling her skin, and then wanders back into the baby's room.

She admires him as he sleeps, his cheeks warm and flushed. His messy hair is adorable, but she will brush it down for the party. His small, chunky hands are curled into fists above his head.

She reaches into the crib and scoops him up easily. "Come here, baby," she murmurs quietly. He blinks open his dark brown eyes and curls easily into her shoulder. She holds him tight to her, and as she leaves, adjusts a frame with _Elijah William _written in calligraphy on it.

She checks her watch again, and is slightly appalled to see that it is already 4 o'clock. "Grace," she calls, and Grace re-enters the kitchen. "The garlic salt is in here," she says, opening a cabinet. She adjusts a few things on the counter. "It looks really great in here. You're a lifesaver."

"I know," Grace says cheekily.

Alicia leans against the counter, poking Elijah's nose and blowing raspberries on his neck. "Wakey wakey." Elijah's eyes light up quickly—he is extremely lively and well-behaved for a one-year-old.

Someone knocks at the door, and Will calls, "I'll get it!"

She can hear him open it, and exclaim, "Diane!" She wanders over to the entryway, and waves at Diane, who is hugging Will.

Diane beams at Alicia, and crosses the room, not giving Will another glance. "He's huge," she says. "Let me hold him?"

Alicia is pleased that Diane wants to hold him, despite her not surprisingly beautiful dress that she is clad in. She hands him over, and Diane holds him very naturally. Of course she would be good at this—she's good at everything. Elijah looks up at her and she says, "Those eyes, Will. They're just like yours."

Will smiles, looking young. Alicia looks at him a little too long.

Elijah reaches for Diane's large necklace and quickly sticks it in his mouth. Alicia is ready to take him back, but Diane only laughs and says, "Oh no, it's fine. They look nice, don't they, Elijah? Boy's got good taste." She smiles at Alicia, the typical, sparkling Diane smile.

There is another knock, and Will reaches over to answer it. It's Cary and Kalinda at the door this time, and they enter hand-in-hand. "Happy Birthday, Elijah," Kalinda says, kissing Elijah on the cheek in a very un-Kalinda-like fashion. She hands Alicia a bottle of wine. "A present for the birthday boy," she says, her eyes laughing. "I figured you could use it!"

"Thanks," Alicia says, laughing at her friend.

They all wander to the kitchen, and Alicia watches from a distance.

It's all worked out so much better than she could have ever hoped.


End file.
